With the recent atmospheric river coming through, the water soaks into the bluffs and sections collapse. Most of the trees are holding on in the face of loss.
For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: loss.
With the recent atmospheric river coming through, the water soaks into the bluffs and sections collapse. Most of the trees are holding on in the face of loss.
For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: loss.
This is fiction. Though many of the people may exist in some form or other.
Subheading of police report:
Current covid-19 quarantine list
1. Katherine is quarantined for 10 days for chasing a deer out of her front yard with a broom without wearing a mask. Many thanks to the two neighbors who called in. Also, quit talking to deer and singing to the chickadees. You are just confusing everything.
2. Bob 1 is quarantined for 10 days for biking down his drive way without a mask on. Yes, we know you wore the mask for the other 48.25 miles. We don’t care.
3. Bill is quarantined for taking off his mask while hunting elk. No, being thirsty after butchering is not an acceptable excuse. You just be glad that you had that elk tag.
4. Two more Bobs are quarantined, one for playing the piano and the other for playing the fiddle, both with the windows open while not wearing a mask. It’s too cold for that right now and germs. Geeze.
5. Russ is quarantined because he can still talk fast, even through the mask. We aren’t allowed to say what else he’s done.
6. Joey is quarantined for miming fascism in public. We can tell who you are through the mask. Stick to magic, dude. Miming facisim is just creepy, ok? You are giving us nightmares.
7. Lou and Amelia are quarantined for abandoning the post office and for being too nice to bicyclers. What are you two, liberals?
8. Leah is quarantined for wearing that peek a boo mask and it didn’t match the rest of the outfit. Ok, you had matching gloves, shoes, hat, coat, dress and lipstick, but the mask was not right and we’re outlawing the peek a boo thing. People just get too hot.
9. Patrick is quarantined for nursing in public right out in the open. Really, now. Currently those fall under the mask rules too. You can use a big scarf or go indoors. It’s not socially acceptable yet for guys.
10. Geoff is quarantined for exposure to the 80 year old neurologist who is still working doing Independent Medical Exams. You guys took off your masks between patients in the back room. Fools.
11. Sue is quarantined for being around Geoff. Double fool.
12. Barbara and Carl and family are quarantined because they left everyone sad and hungry on Christmas Day 2020. Carl did not make the 500 gallons of hollandaise. We will happily set up a social distancing grid with 10 foot colored places for people to sit, with the neighborhood cordoned off for two blocks in all directions from your house. That is, we’d get eggs benedict first and any time one of us came on or off shift. The High School Robotics team has agreed to repurpose their robot to deliver to each person who is masked and sitting in a grid spot. We envision a pattern using both sides of each street so that the robot doesn’t go on the grass and fall over. We might even fund a second robot. Please? Could we have Christmas this year?
This is one of the ten poems that my mother made etchings for, the year I was just done with college. 1983-4. I wanted to write, but had no idea what to do with the poems that I was writing. My mother Helen Burling Ottaway had done a series of etchings with a family friend’s poems, so I asked if she would do the same with me. She said, “Yes, on one condition.” “What is that?” “They have to rhyme.” She did not like the free verse. Almost all of the poems were about animals, except for one about my sister. Another friend printed the poems on a lead type press and then my mother worked on editions numbered 1-50 of each, inking the plate separately for each one. This one is number 5/50. You can see the imprint of the plate on the paper in the photograph.
If I could be anything
I’ll tell you what I’d like to be
One of those small green frogs
That sails from tree to tree
These frogs can jump, they have no laps
They are not birds with wings
the have parachutes between their toes
And I am sure that they can sing
They spread their toes and jump so high
To float like snowflakes in the air
Frogs fall like rain from clear blue skies
It must be nice up there
Why they jump I do not know
Maybe escaping hungry eyes
Perhaps to catch a tender bug
Or they just like to fly
If I could be anything
I’ll tell you what I’d like to be
One of those small green frogs
That sails from tree to tree.

Disclaimer: I am not Native American. I am not male. I did not live here when the ships arrived. I wrote this thinking about a dream a friend told me, about a bear. So it’s the fault of a dream bear, this story.
One
I am wailing. I am crying. The Bear came today, our bear, the tribe’s bear, our Spirit.
But he didn’t just walk through camp and take fish and his tribute.
He took my son.
He walked right up to where my wife stood still, as we must when he comes, and he lifted the boy in his paws. The boy was quiet and still, he did well, he was brave, but when the bear turned to leave, he called once.
Then our bear dropped to three legs, my son in the fourth, and turned and left.
My son, my son, my heart, my joy. Spirit Bear, return him to me!
Two
We fought, argued, for a very short time. The Shaman said that if Spirit Bear wants my son, he shall have him.
He does have him, I said, but I want him back. The Shaman knew that was true. Some shook their heads and say that my son is already dead, but most agreed with me. We were on the trail nearly immediately. The bear should not be able to move as quickly as usual when he is carrying my son. I dread evidence of my son’s loss, that he will be eaten. But that has never happened, in the history, in the songs. The Shaman said as much. But neither has a bear taken a chief’s son.
Three
Spirit Bear is moving amazingly fast on three legs. He is headed for the mountains. Not a surprise. My son may get cold. But bears are warm. My son has not been eaten.
Four
We have to make camp. I am so angry that we have not caught Spirit Bear. Out of our home camp he is fair game.
We do the Bear Dance, four times. We did not bring the masks and the young men dance the women’s part and one sings the woman’s part. We made quick rough masks and costumes. The Spirits will forgive us. This is past all understanding.
What does a Spirit Bear want with my son? Four years. No one knows.
Five
Day again. I am up before dawn praying for light, for my son, to find the Spirit Bear.
Six
We are hot on the trail. We find that Spirit Bear did sleep and rest. My son is dropping beads. Smart boy. Each bead means that he is still alive and relatively unhurt.
Seven
We have spotted them. Spirit Bear stood and looked down at us, my son tucked against his side. My son very slowly raised his arm, so he knows.
Eight
We are approaching the peak. Everyone is tired from the climb and hungry and thirsty. Yet we keep going. No one complains.
Nine
We reach the peak and Spirit Bear and my son. We arm our spears and arrows, but my son shouts “No! Look!” We turn. We see the water. There is something in the water. It has tannish wings that are filled with wind. It is huge compared with our boats.
We turn to my son. He stands and Spirit Bear leaves, ambling down the mountain, quickly, gone. I hurry to my son, sweep him up. He starts shaking and then cries, leaning his head into me.
We turn and watch the tan winged thing, which is coming against the wind. It comes at an angle and then turns, to the opposite angle, yet still it comes. We know this is new and that there can be terror or joy, we do not know which. There will be learning, we know that.
My son falls asleep. We carry him down to water and camp. We are all singing quietly, the song of new things, fear and joy. The Shaman will welcome us when we are home, and we will prepare for the winged thing. We do not know what it will bring.
We thank the Spirit Bear for warning us, for telling us to prepare.
I have had strep A sepsis and pneumonia twice. It was terrifying and I ended up having to take care of myself. I would be dead if I was not a physician.
Not to be named obscure website helped to sustain me, because it was a place I could go while I was alone, terrified and very very ill. The bout in 2014 took me out of clinic for six months and then I was barely able to work seeing half my usual number of patients. My local hospital refused to help me, but other people did. I am deeply deeply grateful to the people who did help me, including people on everything2.com that I have never met.
I wrote this in June 2014.
released like stars
________________
My sister used to tell me
βEverything2 is like a brain.
Thatβs what attracted me.
All the nodes, like neurons
Connected to each other more and more.β
Or something like that.
Isnβt it annoying?
Now that Iβve taken that memory out
Dusted it off
Embellished it
Who knows what she really said
Flashes of light now
And some where I blank out entirely
For just a moment
Only when Iβve eaten
Iβm still avoiding carbs
Could be absence seizures
But she said seizures hurt
These do not hurt
And are accompanied by muscle twitches
Or muscles rolling gently across my frame
I am scared at first
Because I think they are neurons
Bursting into brain flame
And burning out
Brief candles
But I donβt think thatβs right either
I think it is plaques
Deposits of antibody
Small pushpins in the wrong place
Being released like stars
I can’t fall
until I let go
my cousin says that people learn
to stay away from angry people
I am hurt and then let that go
and think, yes, she is right
my cousins say over and over
that I am too angry when I’m not angry
until it makes me angry
my cousin gives good advice
I let go and stay away
it’s not my anger
I thought allopathic medicine
was where we listened to the patient
I let go of that too, disillusioned
a family member wants to be free
I let go
I let go of you slowly
I let go of coffee
I let go of sitting next to you
I let go of seeing you daily
I let go of asking
I let go of driving by
I let go of hope
I have not let go of longing
I think that I can fall
without letting go of longing
it is only a thread
like a spider’s web
thrown into the universe
I don’t think it will stop me
from falling
I touched base with the psychologist
not one I know
just one who was around
asked if I could talk
for 15 minutes
indeed, he said
a difficult situation
you know that the person won’t change
echo
won’t change won’t change
I believed this
for two days
then I remembered
why I am a doctor
my secret weapon
my healing talent
I always have faith in change
everyone
has choices
“I can’t stop smoking.”
says the man
“My father quit three years ago.
55 years of two packs a day,
unfiltered Camels.”
“Camels!” says the man
“Those are bad!”
“You can quit too.
It might take more than one try.”
Why would I go to work
to talk about hypertension
exercise, birth control
obesity, heart attacks
unless at my core
I believe each person has choices?
Sometimes the choices
are between miserable
and horrible
life and death
still
whether a person is 9 or 90
they are graced
by choice
The photograph is from May 2012, at the memorial for my sister. My father is on the left, sitting, wearing oxygen.
It is easy with you
All the places you’ve been offended
Where you haven’t been treated right
A bike shop
Food co-op
Coffee shops
Restaurants
It’s easy to hide my physical body
Where you can’t find me
But what of my mind and heart
You always feel it when I go
I go to the Beloved
I give up
I cast myself into the abyss
Grief, denial, loss, bargaining, abandonment, hopeless grief
I throw myself over the cliff
Over and over
I resist
And then let go
It’s not wings
Because the cliff is a waterfall
I don’t want wings
And the Beloved laughs
Wings form
I refuse to fly
I won’t I won’t I won’t
I fall towards the water
Each time I wonder
If this time the Beloved will not shift
I hit the water
Safe again
Scales and tail
And I can breathe
And swim free
To the sea
Poem: finally.
BLIND WILDERNESS
in front of the garden gate - JezzieG
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