tube cat

Do you know the song? Tube Snake Boogie?

My cats LOVE the tube. But it’s a little disquieting at times. I don’t have a photograph yet, but when there is one cat head first in at one end and another cat sticking out at one of the side holes or the other end… well, it’s a tube cat. A bit worrisome. Kind of a cat/snake cross. It doesn’t help that the tube really matches Elwha’s coloring. I am learning to step over the tube quite carefully because sometimes there are hidden paws.

Elwha barely fits in the side entrances. Cats can do that snakey thing of going through a space that really looks too small for them.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: disquieting.

A disquieting half a cat.

Shift or not?

Shift or not? Oh. I read it as swift or not. I am not going to shift from swift. It is too early to swiftly shift from swift to shift. Swift or not? Well, both. Not a swift as in the bird, but a swift and strong flier. Great blue herons always look incongruous to me in trees. They do like really big trees, but they always surprise me out on a branch. They have very light hollow bones compared to us and can sit lightly on a branch like this.

For the RDP: shift. I am swiftly feeling incongruously shifty on this early Monday.

Fibbing Friday in the movies

  1. Finish the quote: One of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s most famous lines is, “I’ll be…” “I’ll be PEEEEACE!”
  2. Finish the song title: One of Randy Newman’s best known songs is “Why Can’t We…” “Why Can’t We Peace Each Other!”
  3. Twilight wasn’t about a teenage girl who falls in love with a vampire. What was it about? The Forks Vampire/Human/Werewolf Peace Consortium that healed the entire world.
  4. What made Blade different from the vampires he hunted? He changed his name from Blade to Peace and his very touch brought peace to the hearts of the world of Vampires.
  5. In what movie did Billy Crystal play a character named, Miracle Max? WORLD PEACE IS HERE
  6. The Goonies wasn’t about a group of kids searching for a lost treasure. What was it about? Some silly kids who start a peace movement in their neighborhood and end up leading the UN.
  7. What was name of the character than Alan Rickman played in the first movie that he starred in? PEACEMAN.
  8. In The Professional, who does Natalie Portman’s character shoot with a paint pellet? The Horseman of WAR. Peace ensues.
  9. The Phantom of the Opera isn’t about a disfigured man who terrorizes a Paris opera house. What is it about? A Peace Phantom who keeps changing the tragedies into Joyous Hymns to Peace.

For Fibbing Friday.

The AntiDating Patch II

Gosh, again? Once again I am giving up on dating, because, well…. I just cannot even IMAGINE beginning to share my past life. Heh. I suppose I could do one of those “We never talk about the past” relationships, but BLEAGH. Sorry, boring.

So, I quit. As I wrote in The AntiDating Patch, people are contrary beasts and nothing makes them more interested then being engaged/and/or/quitting dating. How do I get around this? Wearing the PATCH(Tm) is not enough. (I chose itsy bitsy country of origin of my choice, just FYI, not the boxers and ick, not the speedo).

Quitting won’t work. I will be hounded. My microbiome will start howling and send out pheromones to the other microbiomes and people will gather round. No! I say, No!

Better to date. Hmmm. I think I will date the birds in my yard. The male deer are a bit spiky for my taste, a little scary to get close to. I like the raccoons, they are VERY good at growling and protect their young. The coyotes are shy but I’ve seen them within a block and by my former clinic. Also one on three legs by the hospital. I wonder if he was considering the ER? I find great blue herons fascinating and wish that I could fly and land in trees. I could date a tree, right? Be anything you want to be? At one point I was so fed up with people that I decided to be a tree.

There. I will peel the AntiDating Patch off in a week and date the local flora and fauna. A week of the patch will reinforce my resolve and then I can go moon at trees, or a blue heron, or a coyote.

Phew, problem solved and plan laid. I won’t have to explain my life at all, at least not in English. I have had a blue heron circle back to land in a tree when I was trying to talk blue heron. The heron looked pretty fierce, I am afraid that what I am saying is probably an insult. It’s easy to pick up the nasty slang in another language. Maybe they will teach me if they sense my deep and positive intentions. I hope so, don’t you?

Fibbing Friday: defining monetary terms

  1. In the world of international finance, what do the abbreviations, USD and GBP stand for? USD stands for Use (the) Stocks, Darling and GBP stands for Good Bonding Place. See number 3.
  2. What exactly is cryptocurrency? Currency that is cryptic and actually invisible, as well as unstable. You can’t hold it, you can’t touch it and it only exists as long as the servers have current. That why it is called currency. Once the current is off the cryptocurrency disappears.
  3. What is the difference between stocks and bonds? Stocks are immobile, usually made of wood, and are not all that common now, except in really retro BDSM dungeons. Bonds are very mobile and can be made of velvet, or metal as in handcuffs, or nearly anything that you can tie someone up with. Wire and barbed wire are not ok. Use the safe word.
  4. What is meant by a “bull” market? This is a market that sells a lot of bull. It is very very common.
  5. What is meant by a “bear” market? This is when the bears show up and devour all the bulls.
  6. What is a stock split? Usually one uses an ax or a chainsaw to demolish stocks. Rarely, those demolition people who blow up buildings are called upon, but this does not leave neat halves. Stock splits are often the product of either a divorce or the sale of the building holding the retro BDSM dungeon.
  7. What exactly is crowdfunding? My favorite crowdfun involves the pop up singing where one person starts singing and it turns out that the entire chorus is standing around in a crowd. Flash mobs! Some people prefer demonstrations or driving a lot of trucks around the beltway. I do not think storming the Capitol is a good crowdfun.
  8. What is a pension? These no longer exist in the US.
  9. What is a 401(k)? 410K is the number right before the answer to the universe, number 42. Once we reach 41, everyone says OK, because 42 is next.
  10. What is day trading? Trading that does not occur at night.

For Fibbing Friday.

Flashmob:

Our town Covid-19 quarantine list

This is fiction. Though many of the people may exist in some form or other.

Subheading of police report:

Current covid-19 quarantine list

1. Katherine is quarantined for 10 days for chasing a deer out of her front yard with a broom without wearing a mask. Many thanks to the two neighbors who called in. Also, quit talking to deer and singing to the chickadees. You are just confusing everything.

2. Bob 1 is quarantined for 10 days for biking down his drive way without a mask on. Yes, we know you wore the mask for the other 48.25 miles. We don’t care.

3. Bill is quarantined for taking off his mask while hunting elk. No, being thirsty after butchering is not an acceptable excuse. You just be glad that you had that elk tag.

4. Two more Bobs are quarantined, one for playing the piano and the other for playing the fiddle, both with the windows open while not wearing a mask. It’s too cold for that right now and germs. Geeze.

5. Russ is quarantined because he can still talk fast, even through the mask. We aren’t allowed to say what else he’s done.

6. Joey is quarantined for miming fascism in public. We can tell who you are through the mask. Stick to magic, dude. Miming facisim is just creepy, ok? You are giving us nightmares.

7. Lou and Amelia are quarantined for abandoning the post office and for being too nice to bicyclers. What are you two, liberals?

8. Leah is quarantined for wearing that peek a boo mask and it didn’t match the rest of the outfit. Ok, you had matching gloves, shoes, hat, coat, dress and lipstick, but the mask was not right and we’re outlawing the peek a boo thing. People just get too hot.

9. Patrick is quarantined for nursing in public right out in the open. Really, now. Currently those fall under the mask rules too. You can use a big scarf or go indoors. It’s not socially acceptable yet for guys.

10. Geoff is quarantined for exposure to the 80 year old neurologist who is still working doing Independent Medical Exams. You guys took off your masks between patients in the back room. Fools.

11. Sue is quarantined for being around Geoff. Double fool.

12. Barbara and Carl and family are quarantined because they left everyone sad and hungry on Christmas Day 2020. Carl did not make the 500 gallons of hollandaise. We will happily set up a social distancing grid with 10 foot colored places for people to sit, with the neighborhood cordoned off for two blocks in all directions from your house. That is, we’d get eggs benedict first and any time one of us came on or off shift. The High School Robotics team has agreed to repurpose their robot to deliver to each person who is masked and sitting in a grid spot. We envision a pattern using both sides of each street so that the robot doesn’t go on the grass and fall over. We might even fund a second robot. Please? Could we have Christmas this year?

outfits inappropriate for work

Ok, I have been going through my clothes. I found both the pink bra and the wings in the bottom of a closet. So, I put them on. I did not actually step outside the house wearing this. I think I need a costume party. Anyhow, it’s rather fun trying these silly things on. I’d have to wear the wings over my White Coat to doctor in this outfit…..

you know you are hypoxic when….

You know you are hypoxic when you stand there sniffing, wondering why the on demand oxygen isn’t working. It’s supposed to supply oxygen when you sniff. Let’s see, it is turned on to two liters…hurry, or I will be late for covid test… what the heck is wrong?….. oh….