patriotic lobster

…because the pants alone aren’t loud enough.

Another in my Outfits Inappropriate For Work series. It is difficult to type wearing my claws. Also patients would get distracted if I wore something too weird. I can’t think why.

I got the claws at a church sale yesterday. I was told they went with a game, “You’ve Got Crabs!” Turns out they don’t, but maybe they should! I went looking vaguely for a CD case for my car and got two: however they came with CDs. Everything from Cake to Spongebob Favorites to Johnny Cash to Disney Favorites. I am SET.

So who wants to play “You’ve got crabs!”?

Do you have an Outfit Inappropriate For Work? Is a Silly Selfie a Silthie?

sending flowers

I was “separated” from a website for “not explicitly breaking the rules”. Hey, it’s a “woke” website and wow, I guess I was annoying, or the editors are insane, or something. The eds who had become friends over the years didn’t know a thing about it. The owner removed me.

Now I am removing every reference to that site from my blog, over time.

So here is a poem from a week ago, to “honor” the insane editors. I do think they need to vet them a little better, heh. But if the owner doesn’t mind the site imploding and dying, hey, he has chosen the best editors for the job.

______________________

Eeeeeeeeeew eww

eeeeeeeew eww
I’m annoyed at you
don’t you see you’re inconveniencing me?
don’t you see you shoot yourself in the knee?
don’t you see choices so dumb I could scream?
don’t you see
you’re destroying the dream

eeeeeeeew too
I’m so annoyed at you
but I’ll forgive you your sins
after I stick you with pins
and laugh many many grins
you’re sent to bed without dins

eeeeeeeeew too
I’m so annoyed at you
but I don’t really care
I think it’s totally fair
that you’re dissolving out there
in the cloud unaware
and no one else cares

eeeeeeeeew too
don’t cry a boohooo
you reap what you sow
I won’t cry when you go
sad to see you sunk so low
advertisment ho
drunk funked skunked bro
yeah, ed, he don’t know
sentimental slop woe
stinking slow to grow

eeeeeeeeew too
is yo owner a ghoul?
I think you raised up some fools
I mourn the loss of some jewels
when sad stupidity rules
some eds is fool mules
I carve yo gravestone with tools

Fibbing Friday Silly Adages

  1. Cool as a caterpiggle.
  2. Is that a   heffalump in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
  3. Green as Groot.
  4. Wet your Walrus (and carpenter).
  5. Too many woozles spoil heffalump hunting.
  6. You can put lipstick on a woozle, but it will still be a weasel like worry.
  7. O what a tangled web we weave, when first we imitate Charlotte.
  8. Don’t throw the Winnie-ther-Pooh out with the woozles.
  9. Many hands make light of silly adages.
  10. It must be Groot, because Yoda don’t shake like that!

I have been not thinking about this for a couple of days, stuck on the first one. Oh, silly and nonsense go together, don’t they? Let’s play with some made up words! Many thanks to Winnie-ther-Pooh, Groot, the Walrus and the Carpenter, Pogo, Yoda, Charlotte’s Web, and all the many woozles, caterpiggles and heffalumps out there!

For Fibbing Friday, just under the wire!

What does the photograph have to do with this? Nothin. Heh-heh.

tube cat

Do you know the song? Tube Snake Boogie?

My cats LOVE the tube. But it’s a little disquieting at times. I don’t have a photograph yet, but when there is one cat head first in at one end and another cat sticking out at one of the side holes or the other end… well, it’s a tube cat. A bit worrisome. Kind of a cat/snake cross. It doesn’t help that the tube really matches Elwha’s coloring. I am learning to step over the tube quite carefully because sometimes there are hidden paws.

Elwha barely fits in the side entrances. Cats can do that snakey thing of going through a space that really looks too small for them.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: disquieting.

A disquieting half a cat.

Shift or not?

Shift or not? Oh. I read it as swift or not. I am not going to shift from swift. It is too early to swiftly shift from swift to shift. Swift or not? Well, both. Not a swift as in the bird, but a swift and strong flier. Great blue herons always look incongruous to me in trees. They do like really big trees, but they always surprise me out on a branch. They have very light hollow bones compared to us and can sit lightly on a branch like this.

For the RDP: shift. I am swiftly feeling incongruously shifty on this early Monday.

Fibbing Friday in the movies

  1. Finish the quote: One of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s most famous lines is, “I’ll be…” “I’ll be PEEEEACE!”
  2. Finish the song title: One of Randy Newman’s best known songs is “Why Can’t We…” “Why Can’t We Peace Each Other!”
  3. Twilight wasn’t about a teenage girl who falls in love with a vampire. What was it about? The Forks Vampire/Human/Werewolf Peace Consortium that healed the entire world.
  4. What made Blade different from the vampires he hunted? He changed his name from Blade to Peace and his very touch brought peace to the hearts of the world of Vampires.
  5. In what movie did Billy Crystal play a character named, Miracle Max? WORLD PEACE IS HERE
  6. The Goonies wasn’t about a group of kids searching for a lost treasure. What was it about? Some silly kids who start a peace movement in their neighborhood and end up leading the UN.
  7. What was name of the character than Alan Rickman played in the first movie that he starred in? PEACEMAN.
  8. In The Professional, who does Natalie Portman’s character shoot with a paint pellet? The Horseman of WAR. Peace ensues.
  9. The Phantom of the Opera isn’t about a disfigured man who terrorizes a Paris opera house. What is it about? A Peace Phantom who keeps changing the tragedies into Joyous Hymns to Peace.

For Fibbing Friday.

The AntiDating Patch II

Gosh, again? Once again I am giving up on dating, because, well…. I just cannot even IMAGINE beginning to share my past life. Heh. I suppose I could do one of those “We never talk about the past” relationships, but BLEAGH. Sorry, boring.

So, I quit. As I wrote in The AntiDating Patch, people are contrary beasts and nothing makes them more interested then being engaged/and/or/quitting dating. How do I get around this? Wearing the PATCH(Tm) is not enough. (I chose itsy bitsy country of origin of my choice, just FYI, not the boxers and ick, not the speedo).

Quitting won’t work. I will be hounded. My microbiome will start howling and send out pheromones to the other microbiomes and people will gather round. No! I say, No!

Better to date. Hmmm. I think I will date the birds in my yard. The male deer are a bit spiky for my taste, a little scary to get close to. I like the raccoons, they are VERY good at growling and protect their young. The coyotes are shy but I’ve seen them within a block and by my former clinic. Also one on three legs by the hospital. I wonder if he was considering the ER? I find great blue herons fascinating and wish that I could fly and land in trees. I could date a tree, right? Be anything you want to be? At one point I was so fed up with people that I decided to be a tree.

There. I will peel the AntiDating Patch off in a week and date the local flora and fauna. A week of the patch will reinforce my resolve and then I can go moon at trees, or a blue heron, or a coyote.

Phew, problem solved and plan laid. I won’t have to explain my life at all, at least not in English. I have had a blue heron circle back to land in a tree when I was trying to talk blue heron. The heron looked pretty fierce, I am afraid that what I am saying is probably an insult. It’s easy to pick up the nasty slang in another language. Maybe they will teach me if they sense my deep and positive intentions. I hope so, don’t you?