broken two

I pick the rock up and drop it on another rock. Inside there is a vein of quartz. And what looks like a heart, made of quartz. Beautiful. I hope the rock does not mind being broken. I am questioning myself. The rock would break eventually but I have speeded that up. Sometimes we do some really questionable things out of curiosity.

The rock did not break along the seam that I expected it to. There is still that seam. Should I drop it again?

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: workshop.

tubing

The oxygen tubing follows me everywhere.

I have a large concentrator for inside the house. There is long green tubing that I plug into the pale tubing that goes to my nose.

When I go upstairs, it’s a bit complicated. I have to unplug the pale tubing and plug the upstairs long green tubing into the downstairs long green tubing and the other end into the pale tubing. Then untangle it and I can walk around upstairs and still breathe.

To go outside, I have small cannisters. Unplug from the big concentrator, plug into the small cannister, turn the concentrator off, turn the small cannister on. Get purse and whatever the heck else I am carrying. Try to remember if the small tank is close to empty. I am carrying an extra small tank in the car. I have to turn the tank off to change the respirator, then bleed the remaining pressure, then take the respirator off. Yesterday I put the respirator on upside down. The tank hissed at me like a terrifying snake. I have warning signs in my front and back windows now: do not smoke, oxygen in use.

I took care of a man in the hospital overnight once who HAD smoked on oxygen. The ER doc called me to admit him. “He lit his oxygen on fire with a cigarrette.” “And how bad is he?” “We need to monitor his lungs.” “IF HE HAS LUNG BURNS SHIP HIM TO SEATTLE, HELLO!!!” “Well,” says the ER doc, “Ok, he’s probably fine, just burned his nose. But I am not quite comfortable sending him home.” “Oh, well, then, geez. Okay, whatever.” Wimpy ER doc. I didn’t mind once he was honest. The patient admitted that he did not want to do THAT again and yes, his nose felt pretty burned.

No smoking at my house. I am not tempted to smoke ANYTHING. When I was twelve, I smoked pretzels with my cousins and sister. They do not stay lit well but we laughed a lot. It was really fun.

I don’t have enough green tubing for the basement. So there are monsters and I don’t go there any more. No, I can use one of the portable cannisters to start a load of laundry. I am supposed to only use the portable cannisters when I leave the house. Used one yesterday to go in the front yard and garden. Stomped the spade in, levered up the grass. Wait and breathe. Wait. Ok, stomp the spade in the next place. Wait and breathe. Wait.

I get more oxygen on Wednesdays. Tomorrow. If I BEHAVE then after a month, I will get a small concentrator that I can walk around with. Then I won’t have the bloody tubing tail. I am seriously looking forward to that. I still will have the tail some of the time because the concentrator will have charging and a battery life and AUGH MY OXYGEN RAN OUT WATCH OUT WORLD I AM HYPOXIC AND DANGEROUS!

I trip over the tubing and it gets tangled and I get caught on things and it yanks at my head. My dance skills and balance are way better right now ON oxygen than OFF it. I am not nearly as neurologically whacked out when I have the oxygen. Makes me wonder… I don’t feel nearly as much OCD/ADHD/oppositional defiant. Well, ok, the oppositional defiance is rather baseline for me.

Makes me impatient, but then, whatever. I will still get stuff done. You are only as disabled as you decide to be and this will barely slow me down. Hope I get off oxygen eventually, but that is not clear. With repeat infections your lungs can scar. Hope not. Time will tell.

And donate to something to get oxygen to India. I can hardly bear to look at the news about it. I felt so awful with just mild hypoxic, that went undiagnosed for 5 weeks. Dying of suffocation is not fun. Donate.

Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS)

Anyone can report to the VAERS system.

Doctors may be a bit nervous about reporting covid-19 reactions. Doesn’t matter. You can report on your own.

That being said, I don’t recommend reporting if you feel like crap for a couple of days after the second shot. If it is severe, you need an ambulance or it goes on for more than say, five days, report.

The first shot is about 80% effective. So, 4 out of 5 people are protected, and 1 in 5 doesn’t take. After the second shot, about 95% are protected. That means 1:20 is not.

So if you responded to the first shot, you will have an antibody response to the second shot. I ran a fever of 102 for an hours and cancelled my day of work and the next day. You could have fever, chills, muscle aches, joint aches, whatever. Take a hot bath or sauna or hot tube, because you can sweat the antibodies out.

I would report reactions that last more than two days or are severe. You can fill the form out yourself online and send it to the CDC.

For the folks refusing the vaccine: Hello. Are you going to have covid-19 parties to infect each other? If you do and you get covid-19, I can tell you that I am glad I am not your doctor. Also I don’t want you in my house. I don’t want to be around you at the Farmer’s Market either. And I think that once everyone has had the opportunity to get the vaccine, if you refuse and get covid, you might have to pay your own doctor and hospital bill. Yeah, that is what I think. And if it bankrupts you: well, you had the opportunity to get the vaccine. Why should insurance have to pay? Or you might die. Death rate for world is holding at 2 out of 100. In the US it’s “only” 1.78 out of 100. That is a fungkload. It’s a lot of people. Choose not to get your vaccine and you could be one of them. I just found out this week that a friend from medical school died in November: age 59. Do not tell me it’s all 80 year old “who would have died anyway”. Each of us will die anyway and I don’t want to die of covid-19.

I took the photograph in medical school: it’s my fellow doctor who was found to have covid-19 after he died suddenly, age 59.

My father’s mother’s father

The eldest gentleman in this picture is Fred Bayers, my father’s mother’s father. And his family.

My father’s mother’s mother is present as well. Let me not overlook the women.
Gertrude Bayers.

My father is there and his two sisters. Their spouses and children are present.

My mother is there. My father’s mother and my grandfather and my grandmother’s siblings are present.

I am there. So is my little sister.

Look at all the love there. We need our families so much during this pandemic.

Sending love out.

All love comes back to me.

I hope it comes back to you too.

happy sister

I am home sick and it looks like it will be a long haul. Months. Sigh.

Anyhow, I am going through photos and found this. I do not know who took it, I don’t think it was me. I have my parents’ photos and they had my maternal grandparents’ photos, or at least it seems like it. Anyhow, I am floating in a sea of pictures.

I love this one. She is so happy.

Hope you are that happy now, sisty.

Music: William Prince

Aces again

I am singing: “You are coming up ACES!”

Ok, but, hopefully not. Because I am talking about ACE scores, Adverse Childhood Experiences. See the CDC website, this is all based on a ginormous Kaiser study in the 1990s.

Here: About the CDC-Kaiser ACE Study |Violence Prevention|Injury Center|CDC

Yep. A very very interesting topic for a rural family practice physician.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: ACE.