Pandas and the toughest yarn

After my sister died, I eventually got a box from her home.

People were cleaning it out. My cousin Ko, my friend Caroline, other friends.

Among other things, they sent part of her yarn stash.

What they sent me was the very very fine yarn and the fuzzy yarn. The mohair.

Oh gosh, I thought, they sent me the toughest yarn.

Well, as part of the dealing with the ADHD/OCD antibody annoyance, which makes me wired while the OTHER antibodies make me physically not able to do much, what am I doing?

Sorting my yarn stash, for one. I have a LOT of that lovely fuzzy soft superfine mohair and other superfine yarns. It is tricky to work with because the fine needles are hard on the hands and because if you screw up, it’s hard to take it out. I know some of the tricks: freezing the sweater is one. It makes it easier for the fibers to untangle.

I’ve also been sorting the knitting books and magazines. I have more books. My mother gave me a whole hardcover book on edges and casting on. I’ve used it twice so far. But now I am home, buzzing with antibodies (yeah, sometimes it feels like ants or bees or pins. On the inside.) and so: knit.

And lo, I find this book. Fine knitting. It even has a mohair t-shirt pattern! Awesome, I am going to be knitting up some of my sister’s mohair. Wonderful. I think she’d approve. Also, I plan to be just as glam and sultry as the woman on the cover, heh.

I think I’ll submit this to the Ragtag Daily Prompt: Country Comfort.

biotics explained

Are you confused about BIOTICS? Is your neighbor taking more Mysterious Healthy Pills than you? We can help! We are marketers posing as scientists from Mega Super Good For You and the Planet CoreValuePoration! Look! We have white coats and ours are clean!

PROBIOTICS: These are GOOD and GOOD FOR YOU! You should take them, you should take ours! We have capsules and we stuff them full of good-for-you biotics. We don’t call them bacteria, because bacteria are gross and yuky and cause infections. You know ours are best because they are the most expensive, the health food co-op sells them, and they have to be refrigerated. Take one everyday! You can never have too many biotics in the teaming mass of millions in your gut!

Conbiotics: These are BAD FOR YOU! They are sold by the other companies. They lie. They get biotics from prisoners poop. They will turn you criminal. They will make you fight with your mother and disinherit your first born, lie, drink too much and cook meth. You will know they are conbiotics because they are cheaper and not refrigerated. And some of the biotics in their tablets are bacteria! Do you want to take bacteria? DEAD BACTERIA, they don’t even give you live ones.

Antibiotics: THESE KILL PROBIOTICS. BY THE MILLIONS. THESE ARE PASSE, OUT OF FASHION, EVIL AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT THEM (unless you have strep throat or pneumonia or sepsis, and even then, the antibiotics suck because the sepsis mortality rate is 28-50%, THAT MEANS HALF THE SEPSIS VICTIMS DIE EVEN WITH ANTIBIOTICS, DOES THAT PROVE THEY SUCK OR WHAT?)

UNCLEBIOTICS: Now MEGA SUPER GOOD FOR YOU AND THE PLANET COREVALUEPORATION is developing THE NEWEST AND BEST BIOTICS OF ALL! UNCLEBIOTICS ARE BETTER THAN ANTIBIOTICS BECAUSE THEY ARE MALE AND UNCLES ARE MORE FUN AND RARER THAN AUNTS AND THEY ARE WAY LESS LIKELY TO HUG YOU INTO WEIRD SMELLING BOSOMS, except that uncle that wears the boa and the weight lifter uncle, too many illegal steroids, he has fine manboobs.

SUBSCRIBE TODAY TO OUR MONTHLY POOBIOTIC, WE MEAN PROBIOTIC SERVICE AND YOU WILL RECEIVE FREE SAMPLES OF UNCLEBIOTICS AS FAST AS WE CAN GET THE UNCLES TO POO AND THE RATS TO SURVIVE THE CAPSULES.

All ingredients generally recognized as safe http://www.fda.gov/Food/IngredientsPackagingLabeling/GRAS/, you should listen to us, don’t listen to your mama, she says “Don’t eat poo!” but what do mamas know, Mother’s Day is so OVER for the year and we have WHITE COATS!

Deep Vein Thrombosis

Our clinic had a band back before 2009. Me and 4 of the nurses. We were into heavy metal. This was when I was working for Port Townsend Family Physicians. The county let me go and PTFP changed their name. Could not have been because we wore our band regalia to work, right? After all, it was Halloween.

Maybe they were afraid that the songs would catch on.

Little blue pill

Don’t code in the waiting room

Evidence based BM

Probiotics make you psychotic

Better that way

Alcohol is better than benzos

Mr. Sable is Unable

Buprenorphine: better n morphine

EMR means Eat My Rear

The 18 Patient Blues

Idaho Gigolo

I played flute and saw. J played fiddle and air siren. The others, well, you should ask them. I think all the tapes got burned by the hospital. Too bad, so sad.

I can’t credit the photographer. I don’t know who took it.

Quota

Quota

honestly
I feel despair
when I try
to think about the new schedule

Twenty four slots
Of 20 minutes
See three people
For 40 minutes
Twenty on the schedule

Unanswered questions
Wake me on Sunday morning
If I am called to a labor patient
Must I make up that clinic face time?
What of holidays?
The clinic is closed.
Night call is nowhere addressed
Will they hire more and more
Who don’t take call
Until I am the last woman standing
Red rimmed eyes staring
Numb with fatigue

What of my nearly deaf patient
Who reads lips
May we take forty minutes?
All the fairly deaf elderly?
New parents, anxious
Questions pour out like
Coins from a jackpot win
What of the tearful brokenhearted
And anxious?
I shrink at the thought
Of crushing their hearts
Into twenty minutes

And what if I’m sick?
(sick leave & vacation all one)
It’s not a holiday if I’m on call
No make-up day off
If I cancel clinic
For illness
Do I make up those days
A quota of patient face days

I am in the factory
The mines
People are the shirts I must sew
The tons of coal I must load
I must meet a quota

Doctors die younger
Our life is measured out
In patients
I won’t let the quota
Kill my love

At what age should we talk to our kids about drugs?

I am a rural family physician and my recommendation: before age 9. Before third grade.

WHY? Your eyes are popping out of your head in horror, but my recommendation comes from surveying my patients. For years.

The biggest drug killer is tobacco. However, it takes 30 years to kill people. It is very effective at taking twenty years off someone’s life, destroying their lungs, causing lung cancer, heart disease, mouth cancer, breast cancer, uterine cancer, stomach cancer, emphysema, heart disease….

I ask older smokers what age they started smoking. This is informal. This is not scientific. But most of my male older smokers say that they first tried cigarettes at age 9. I think parents need to be talking to their children about cigarettes by age 9.

And then start talking about alcohol and illegal drugs and the terrible dangers of pills.

“My innocent child would never….” Unfortunately my daughter said that as a senior in high school in our small town, there were 4-5 kids out of the 120+ that were not trying alcohol and marijuana. But there are kids trying far worse substances. We have methamphetamines here, and heroin, and pain pills sold on the street.

The perception that pills are safe is wrong too. Heroin is made from the opium poppy and it’s rather an expensive process, not to mention illegal and has to be imported from dangerous places. But teens take oxycodone and hydrocodone, bought on the street, to get high. And now drug sellers are making FAKE oxycodone and hydrocodone and selling that on the street. It contains fentanyl, which is much much stronger. If the dealer gets the mix wrong, the buyer can overdose and die.

Talk to your children young! NEVER take a pill from a friend, never take someone else’s medicine, never take a pill to party! YOU COULD DIE! And if you have a friend that is not making sense, that you can’t wake up, DON’T LEAVE THEM! Call an ambulance. Your friend may have used something illegal, and may not want you to call an ambulance. But if you think they are too sleepy….. don’t take a chance. People can get so sleepy, so sedated, that they stop breathing.

And parents, you are the ones that have to set a good example. Don’t drink alcohol every night. Don’t use pot every night. Take as few pills as possible. Pills aren’t necessarily safe because they are “supplements” or “natural” — hey, opium and heroin are plant based! Stop using tobacco and if you have a hard time doing it, tell your children you are struggling. It takes an average of eight tries to quit smoking. Get help.

Lastly, we talk about childhood innocence, but we let kids babysit at age 11. That is the Red Cross youngest age. My daughter took a babysitting course at age 11 and babysat. If we think they are responsible enough to do CPR, call 911 and do the heimlich maneuver, shouldn’t we also be talking to them about addictive substances by that age?

Talk to your children about addiction young… so that they can avoid it.

I am submitting this to the Daily Post Prompt: calm. I am not calm about this topic, but the photograph is calm…. and if we can help more children and families…..

does chronic pain kill you?

Another writer sent me this story, saying that chronic pain killed Prince, not an overdose.

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/05/prince-did-not-die-from-pain-pills-he-died-from-chronic-pain/

My response is complex.

1. Is chronic pain an “illness” in it’s own right?

My answer is yes and no. It’s complicated and our understanding is evolving. Right now I think of chronic pain as a switch in the brain that gets thrown. It can be thrown by adverse childhood experiences, by infection, by trauma or war or abuse, by too much stress… or a combination of any of these.

2. Why a switch in the brain?

In fibromyalgia patients we can’t find much on physical exam, except that the pain seems out of proportion to the exam. Ditto with chronic fatigue, reflex sympathetic dystrophy, TMJ, etc. However, now we can image the brain with a functional MRI and watch which parts are lighting up and how much. A study of “normal” and fibromyalgia patients involved a standardized pain stimulus: a thumbscrew. (Kinky, right?) The normal patients said the pain stimulus was 3-4 out of 10 and their brains lit up a certain amount. The fibromyalgia patients said the same pain stimulus was 7-8 out of 10 and the pain parts of the brain lit up MORE corresponding to their pain level. So they are not lying… and it IS in their heads. Sort of. We aren’t sure whether the muscle is yelling more than normal or whether the brain is hypersensitive or both. My guess would be both.

And I think this is an adaptation. It is to get us to rest, heal, calm down, introspect, stop being type A, etc. Boy, do we suck at it. Though recently I had a person in clinic who said what their body wanted to do was nothing. They just wanted to lie around. I said, well, ok, so when can you do that? They did, for two weeks, at the holidays. And my patient said, “One day I had a cup of tea and a book and the cat on my lap and the dog at my feet. I realized that my adrenaline system was turning off and I felt calm and relaxed. Healed.” Back at work the person cannot always maintain it but is getting better at it.

3. What does this have to do with Prince?

The problem is that for 20 years we treated chronic pain with opiates. Unfortunately on continuous opiates, the brain cells change in many people and “down-regulate” the opiate receptors. Less receptors, the pain rises. The person needs more opiate. The brain removes more receptors. So two myths: one that if you have chronic pain and take medicine as directed, you can’t get addicted. Only dependent. Since that is a myth, the DSM-V has combined addiction and dependence into one diagnosis: opioid overuse syndrome. It is a spectrum, not two separate responses.

The second myth is that if you give enough opioid, it will help the pain. Well, no. UW Pain and Addiction Clinic says that on average pain is reduced about 30% by opiods, whatever the dose. And high doses start causing some weird  hyperalgesias. I’ve weaned two people from over 100mg methadone daily down to 20-30mg. It took two years. They felt better on the lower dose after they got through withdrawal symptoms and a short term increase in the pain receptors complaining at them. And they are much less likely to overdose and die.

Page two here http://www.supportprop.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/PROP_OpioidPrescribing.pdf discusses current knowledge about opioids.

4. So like, Prince?

He may have died from a combination of fatigue and sedating drugs. If you get enough sedating drugs, then you stop breathing. Opioids are the biggest offenders combined with alcohol or sleep medicine like ambien or benzodiazepines like valium or ativan or alprazolam or muscle relaxants like methacarbomal or a combination of all of the above. I am a strict physician about urine drugs screens and I do the dip in clinic in front of the person. Way too often, the person does not tell me about the alprazolam or whatever until I am holding the dip over the cup…. and that’s when they tell me. They got it from the ER or a friend or two years ago or … took their dog’s. Really.

He may have died from influenza, if he had it, with sedating drugs. Bad influenza causes lung tissue swelling and can mess up your oxygenation. Your heart has to take up the slack and go faster. If you are trying to work and your heart rate is well above normal, it’s exhausting. It can kill you.

He may have died from overwork, another infection, sedating medicines…. but not directly from chronic pain. Chronic pain slows us but I do not think it kills us*. What kills us is trying to treat it with a pill instead of resting and doing gentle exercise and saying: What does my body want?

 

5. Overdose?

Also, are we talking about an accidental overdose? Are we talking about drug abuse? Are we talking about accidental death or suicide or do we as a society think that addiction deserves overdose death but a person taking medicine for chronic pain is a tragedy? Aren’t we a bit judgemental?

Prince may have taken a pain pill as directed but taken it with too many other controlled substances or with alcohol or while sick and exhausted. Overdose means too high a dose. If it was two percocets, alcohol, flu and xanax…. it could be an accidental poisoning.

6. Are you sure?

No. Medicine changes. Our understanding of the brain changes. Science is about change and deepening understanding. We are barely getting started on the brain and I would say that we are in preschool there.

 

 

*Stress alone can cause heart attacks and sudden death:    http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/stress-cardiomyopathy-a-different-kind-of-heart-attack-201509038239

The photograph is from a week ago, part of my Maxfield Parish cloud series, zoomed way in to the mountains across the water.