I took this last week from Marrowstone Island. The clouds were figured and changing fast. The sky over the water is so big. We look for the meaning in the cloud.
cloud figure
I took this last week from Marrowstone Island. The clouds were figured and changing fast. The sky over the water is so big. We look for the meaning in the cloud.
For today’s Ragtag Daily Prompt.
The kittens were both two pounds and a bit when I got them. Last Thursday they got their last set of vaccines for a year and they are now both six pounds. They are growing like weeds. My last cat was a small cat. If the stated age was right when I got them, these two are going to be BIG.
I posted this in November, 2015. I am reposting it.
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Why care for addicts?
Children. If we do addiction medicine and help and treat addicts, we are helping children and their parents and our elderly patients’ children. We are helping families, and that is why I chose Family Practice as my specialty.
Stop thinking of addiction as the evil person who chooses to buy drugs instead of paying their bills. Instead, think of it as a disease where the drug takes over. Essentially, we have trouble with addicts because they lie about using drugs. But I think of it as the drug takes over: when the addict is out of control, the drug has control. The drug is not just lying to the doctor, the spouse, the parents, the family, the police: the drug is lying to the patient too.
The drug says: just a little. You feel so sick. You will feel so much better. Just a tiny bit and you can stop then. No one will know. You are smart. You can do it. You have control. You can just use a tiny bit, just today and then you can stop. They say they are helping you, but they aren’t. Look how horrible you feel! And you need to get the shopping done and you can’t because you are so sick…. just a little. I won’t hurt you. I am your best friend.
I think of drug and alcohol addiction as a loss of boundaries and a loss of control. I treat opiate overuse patients and I explain: you are here to be treated because you have lost your boundaries with this drug. Therefore it is my job to help you rebuild those boundaries. We both know that if the drug takes control, it will lie. So I have to do urine drug tests and hold you to your appointments and refuse to alter MY boundaries to help keep you safe. If the drug is taking over, I will have you come for more frequent visits. You have to keep your part of the contract: going to AA, to NA, to your treatment group, giving urine specimens. These things rebuild your internal boundaries. Meanwhile you and I and drug treatment are the external boundaries. If that fails, I will offer to help you go to inpatient treatment. Some people refuse and go back to the drug. I feel sad but I hope that they will have another chance. Some people die from the drug and are lost.
Addiction is a family illness. The loved one is controlled by the drug and lies. The family WANTS to believe their loved one and often the family “enables” by helping the loved one cover up the illness. Telling the boss that the loved one is sick, procuring them alcohol or giving them their pills, telling the children and the grandparents that everything is ok. Everything is NOT ok and the children are frightened. One parent behaves horribly when they are high or drunk and the other parent is anxious, distracted, stressed and denies the problem. Or BOTH are using and imagine if you are a child in that. Terror and confusion.
Children from addiction homes are more likely to be addicts themselves or marry addicts. They have grown up in confusing lonely dysfunction and exactly how are they supposed to learn to act “normally” or to heal themselves? The parents may have covered well enough that the community tells them how wonderful their father was or how charming their mother was at the funeral. What does the adult child say to that, if they have memories of terror and horror? The children learn to numb the feelings in order to survive the household and they learn to keep their mouths shut: it’s safer. It is very hard to unlearn as an adult.
I have people with opiate overuse syndrome who come to see me with their children. I have drawings by children that have a doctor and a nurse and the words “heroes” underneath and “thank you”. I have had a young pregnant patient thank me for doing a urine drug screen as routine early in pregnancy. “My friend used meth the whole pregnancy and they never checked,” she said, “Now her baby is messed up.”
Addiction medicine is complicated because we think people should tell the truth. But it is a disease precisely because it’s the loss of control and loss of boundaries that cause the lying. We should be angry at the drug, not the person: love the person and help them change their behavior. We need to stop stigmatizing and demeaning addiction and help people. For them, for their families, for their children and for ourselves.
And does this bird have any scruples?
For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: scruple.
For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: afterlife.
I am driving back from singing for the church and see this neighbor on an old van. It is 2:30 pm. No napping in the day today! Quite awake and calm when I send my window down and take some pictures. I only have my phone and not my big camera, but I sing a thank you song anyhow. Best wishes for mice.

I saw a flock of birds way out in the water last week. I zoomed in and took the photograph pretty blindly. The flock is getting bigger. I think they are getting ready for their yearly travels
For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: team.
This is my working theory on PANS/PANDAS. Pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric syndrome/Pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorders associated with Strep A.
Four or more antibodies. The antibodies can take different patterns in different people.
The antibodies are like keys fitting in a lock. The key may fit in the lock and BLOCK or fit in the lock and OPEN IT. So, there are a very large number of patterns that could arise from this, especially when we remember the rat neuron with 300 different receptors for serotonin in one neuron. Think of the possibilities here.
If this antibody BLOCKS, an ANTAGONIST, it will cause slowing/brain fog/depression/and I don’t know what all.
If this antibody is an AGONIST and the key turns, it apparently can cause mania, ADHD, OCD, oppositional defiance, clinginess, separation anxiety, anxiety, etc.
We do not know what causes psychiatric disorders. Now we have a category called neuropsychiatric, where it is caused by an antibody. Or antibodies. What percentage of psychiatric disorders are caused by this? I am betting high rather than low.
If the antibody is an ANTAGONIST, blocking, then slow or fast twitch muscles won’t function correctly. It could block both. I think if it blocks both, that is the severe lie in bed chronic fatigue. I have trouble with my fast twitch muscles but my slow twitch ones work just fine.
If the antibody is an AGONIST, you get some super athletes. I know a number of people that I would suspect fall into this category. I can name five off the top of my head, friends.
This one worries me. Lysogangliosides lyse ganglions. These antibodies are used in soap making, among other things. They break down fatty cell walls.
When I have a high antibody level, I have trouble eating any carbohydrates. As I improve, I have trouble mostly with sucrose, fructose and gluten but not lactose. Also, when I eat gluten, I get acidic. When you get acidic, your body tries to compensate by slowing your breathing to hold on to CO2, because you need to balance the acid H+ with a base, OH-. So: triple whammy. Acidic I automatically breathe slower, which is not helpful when I am already hypoxic and tachycardic.
I have not figured out whether my antibody is an agonist or antagonist.
An agonist would lyse more ganglions. This could be bad for the brain and for peripheral nerves. Neuropathy and dementia.
An antagonist would stop ganglion lysing. Um, in theory, cancer. Lysogangliosides are supposed to clear out bad cells.My guess is that I have an antagonist because of the family history. At least, on my mother’s and sister’s side. My father smoked two packs of Camels for 55 years and did not get cancer: tough bugger, right? Or did he have an Agonist? This line of thinking makes me very highly motivated to eat in whatever way the antibodies want me to. I do not understand why gluten would trigger this and why the gluten effect in me lasts longer than the fructose and sucrose effect. Gluten intolerance and other gut problems are on the rise and this would certainly explain that. This is the cause of at least some fibromyalgia patterns. Not only does eating gluten screw up my breathing, but it makes any muscle that I have used recently hurt like hell. I ate some meatballs without reading the stupid package back in April. Two hours of chest wall muscle pain and honestly, heart pain. I dug the package out and duh: bread crumbs. Gol dang it, I hate it when I am stupid. However, it hurts like hell but at it’s worst I had normal cardiac enzymes and no heart attack. Weird.
Ok, but WAIT, you said ADAPTIVE. How can this nightmare be adaptive?
Sure, adaptive. Remember the back up system for when we are starving? We switch from metabolizing glucose to metabolizing protein and fats, our own if necessary. We go from glycogen metabolism to protein/fat metabolism which produces ketones.
This is the crisis shit hits the fan emotionally and in plagues system.
So, can be caused by stress or infection or a combination.
Why why why?
Because if the stress gets too high or the infection gets too bad, our body switches gears and runs a back up system. I’ve thought of chronic fatigue as some sort of switch the body throws for years, because it’s the hypercrazy work too hard workaholic Type A people who get it. Type B people do not get it or don’t notice or don’t care. Type B people just say, wow, I’m tired, I think I will rest. The Type A people flip out and say “Put me back like I was!!!!” and then they go to 47 doctors and refuse to do anything the doctors say and do internet research and see any kind of quack you can imagine and they are the most exhausting patients.
Why the psychiatric stuff? Ok, take mania. If there is plague or you are in a really dangerous abusive situation, mania suddenly makes sense. Overnight you are different and what’s more, it scares the hell out of everyone. You are shunned. You are alone. You may get thrown out of a job, family, friend group or all of the above. This would tend to protect you against both plague and the really dangerous abusive situation. Whether you like it or not.
And how clever of the brain/body. Here is a back up system. It changes at least four systems, so you are now a different person. You freak your employer, friends and family out. AND you are sick as shit and they won’t listen. You have to get out and go elsewhere for help or hide in your castle or house or whatever. You can’t move or you have super muscles. And every single person has a different pattern.
I look at the long haul covid. The most common symptoms are psychiatric, shortness of breath and fatigue. Sound familiar?
Now, will someone PLEASE fund my NIH west?
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Guidelines for treating PANS/PANDAS: https://www.pandasppn.org/jcap2017/
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