A timorous culture

Over 20 years ago, when I first start practicing in Washington State, I get a letter from the state. It frightens me. It says that there is a complaint to the state from a patient and that I am being investigated. I think, “What did I do?” The letter says that they will notify me when they are done investigating. I am not allowed to inquire about it until they are done.

I worry, then shrug and go on working.

Eventually I get a letter from the state saying that the investigation is complete and has been dismissed. Now I can request information. I do.

The complaint is that on a yearly exam, I had asked if a patient had guns in the house. Since too many US citizens die by gun suicide and children can find guns and accidentally kill themselves or others, I was taught to counsel regarding guns. If a person has guns in the house I am to counsel them to keep the gun locked up with the ammunition locked up separately.

I was charged in the complaint with trying to find out how many guns this person has and “reporting it to the government”. I thought, that is ridiculous, but it did change my practice. Since there are paranoid timorous gun owners, I no longer asked if they had guns. Instead I said, “If you have guns in the house, as a safety measure, keep them locked up with the ammunition locked up separately.” We are supposed to counsel people to keep addictive drugs that can overdose and kill people locked up too.

I get three replies to the gun counseling. 1. “No guns!” 2. “I am a policeman (or hunter or retired veteran or gun collector) and all guns are secured at all times.” 3. Silence. The silent ones clearly have guns and do not lock them up. Truly I have had people tell me that they sleep with a loaded gun under the pillow. Really? That is our fear based timorous violent culture. We are terrified of….. someone. People on drugs, criminals, immigrants, people of another ethnicity, invaders, alien lizards in human disguise. Whatever.

I don’t have guns. I do have a fairly high level Tai Kwan Do belt, but my main home defense is that I am a packrat. Anyone trying to sneak into my house at night would trip over a cat or cat toy or the cardboard boxes in the kitchen that Elwha loves to sleep in. My house is seriously dangerous. I need to removed the stuff on the stairs by the time I turn 65 so that when they counsel me about fall risks at my medicare wellness visit, I can say that my stairs are clear.

Well, I do have a pop gun, loaded with a cork on a string. Also an Archie McPhee potato gun. Don’t shoot it in the house because those little bits of potato are hard to find. We have a 2 inch plastic ray gun that makes great sound effects and oddly has worked for years. I have a wooden katana and various instruments of garden destruction which could be deadly. I also have a lot of beach rocks and fossils, also fairly deadly, and other things. I’d rather not use any of these ever. Ok, I chased the 4 point buck out of the front yard with the baseball bat twice because he’d jumped the back fence and was eating my roses, but he’s allowed the run of the back yard. I was really mad at him.

We have to get past the fear based timorous culture, because it is making people crazy. Who are you most afraid of? In high school my daughter states, “Well, young white males with guns are the ones most likely to come shoot us, so that is who we should be afraid of.” That’s a sad, sad statement about the US culture.

________________________

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: timorous.

Hummingbirds are not timorous at all! They guard the feeder and seem to enjoy chasing other hummingbirds and bigger birds away and aren’t afraid of me either!

Catch and release

The chances of you changing are quite small.
I know from very early in our time.
Why God makes angels that will one day fall.
We could be sent to teach each other rhymes
or something else. I wonder at it daily.
My heart opens like a flower even so.
The candle just at dusk burns quite palely.
I wonder what excuse you’ll use to go.
It’s a comic denouement I see at last.
You denigrate my knowledge and my skill.
After exposure you refuse to wear a mask
or test. I rise in anger at ill will.
It’s comic that I’ve liked your busy mind.
Respect for mine is nil: you elk’s behind.

afraid or not?

Photo credit to Dr. W. Strang, with my camera. That is me in front of an truly amazing quartz crystal from Arkansas in the Smithsonian Natural History Museum.

I was back in the DC area with my daughter, visiting my son and future daughter in law. Hopefully after this year I won’t say future any more. This is round three after two postponements due to Covid-19.

Dr. Strang and I wanted to go to the Smithsonian but we got snowed in. The Smithsonian was closed Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. We went on Thursday. We got to the Museum of African American History and it was CLOSED. They were opening late, at one pm. It was 10:30.

We promptly diverted to the National Gallery, which opened at 11:00. We spent a good 3-4 hours there. We went back to Natural History. I worked in the shop there years ago and wanted to buy a rock. I was underwhelmed by the rocks available currently. More expensive and a lot less of them. On the other hand, I suppose there are only so many rocks.

What about fear? I chose fear for the Ragtag Daily Prompt today. I was not terribly afraid at the Smithsonian, but I was careful. After my fourth bad pneumonia last year, this time on oxygen for months, I did not want to get Covid-19. We have used fear before, but I think some words can be reused.

Covid-19: omicron

So far, it looks like the Omicron variant is more infectious and less virulent.

“This is good, right? you say, “We can all just get it, then we are immune, move on with our lives.”

There are three, no, four major problems that I can think of right off the bat.

1. Long Haul Covid. We do not know if Omicron will cause Long Haul Covid. This is a big deal. The numbers right now are suggesting that one third of the people who get Covid-19, even a mild case, still have problems at six months out and twelve months out. Are you willing to take a one in three chance? Not me! We do not know how to fix Long Haul Covid-19, we don’t know what it is (even though I have suspicions) and some people can’t even get out of bed. This is bad.

2. Omicron will be happily playing with Delta and trading genes and making NEW babies. As one math joker says, “hey, don’t screw up Pi for us.” We could get a version with the infectious capacity of Omicron and the virulence of Delta. This is also bad.

3. We don’t know what it will do to small children and babies and the very old and the immunosurpressed and Covid-19 turns out to infect fat cells which is theoretically why overweight and obese people in their thirties are dying with it. The doc group I am in on Facebutt is reporting a 5% survival with long term ECMO (heart lung bypass machine) and that people may need to be on the machine for months. Like, eight months. This requires two nurses at all times, not to mention a specialist. A few places report 30% survival, but they also say that they say NO a lot and refuse people they think will not survive. Might as well pick the ones that might survive, right?

4. We don’t know if the drugs we have right now work against it. Some may, some may not. Starting over.

So, I still say get immunized if you haven’t and get boosted if you have. Get your influenza shot too. The masks are helping with influenza this year too, but if flu really got a hold, flu in post-covid would be a very very effective killer. And if you are 65* you should get your prevnar vaccine, for pneumococcal pneumonia. It used to be called “the old man’s friend” because it’s such an effective killer of people 65 and up. The new shingles vaccine, yeah, get that too. Do you feel like a pincushion yet?

No word yet from my immunologist. If I am not making antibodies to Covid-19, do I cancel my Christmas trip? Dunno. Will wait to hear.

Happy whatever you celebrate.


1. https://www.cnn.com/2021/12/02/world/south-africa-omicron-origins-covid-cmd-intl/index.html?utm_source=fbCNN&utm_medium=social&utm_content=2021-12-02T13%3A31%3A02&utm_term=link&fbclid=IwAR0NySrFr-I_ieYmVMQawstw6-oEGlxf32MgcbKyLz8RvpdHHGfzZ678XTY

2. https://robinschoenthaler.medium.com/everything-you-ever-wanted-to-know-about-omicron-that-we-dont-know-yet-d85bdd64d76e

3. https://longbeach.gov/press-releases/omicron-variant-of-covid-19-virus-found-in-long-beach/. Yep, in my state.

4. https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/variants/omicron-variant.html

* Or are younger and have heart disease, lung disease or anything really complicated, like cancer, lupus, autoimmune stuff, etc, etc.

ring

I dream a night sky thick with stars

all the stars start falling

I think “That isn’t good.”
sore afraid

all the stars are angels falling

I think “That isn’t good.”
sore afraid

an angel falls close past me
in space
face at perfect peace

I think “Why do they fall?”
sore afraid

I am falling in space
head down
no earth beneath me
with the angels

crying, imperfect acceptance
sore afraid

I wake
I put the dream away

it comes back
in a decade

I write about wings
sore afraid

I try to understand
sore afraid

I am asked what my small self
my child self
wants

wings

I say yes
no longer
sore afraid

did you hear the bell?

yes

Black on white

poem: Black on white

black on white

white on black

it doesn’t matter

angels falling
made to fall
at peace with falling

I let myself fall
at peace with falling

and wonder what that means?

death?

no

though there are times I long
for the Beloved
for union with the Beloved
for all in one
and one all

let go

when an angel falls
they are at peace

they are at peace
with falling

people

see black and white

people

see good and evil

people

separate
label
categorize

angels don’t

black on white
or
white on black

it doesn’t matter
there is no separation
we are one

Beloved

One

nurturance

I love you I will miss you I am going
I am going to the Beloved I am going quietly
I am saying goodbye and bless you and thank you
for letting me love you but now

I want to be loved too and I am going
somewhere there are people who will love me
nurture me care about me and I can nurture them back
I have spent so much time loving people who don’t

love me or perhaps they love me but in a small way
in a limited way in a very closed off way
and now I am breaking the boundaries again but not
with the people who want these boundaries

I am looking for people who want to love and be loved
like the sky like space like the deepest ocean rift
who are not afraid of passion and arguing and loving
who are not afraid to be afraid to be joyous to be sad

I am looking for people who are not afraid to be afraid

 

I took the photo in a friend’s woods yesterday.

Also published on everything2.com today.