In a recession we learn how to do without.
We tighten our belts. We drive less.
I am glad that I’ve paid for the CSA for the season
Vegetables until late September. The money is gone.
I like the computer. I could do without.
I have songs and instruments and many books.
I wish my children lived closer. On the other hand
maybe they have a better chance of survival scattered
around these United States when it comes to war.
The war has already started. The war has been beating women down
for centuries. I am tired of it. Women are tough. I am tough.
I know how to do without. Right now I am glad each time
I turn the tap and there is clean water. There are many many people
without clean water. I have filter systems. They won’t last forever.
I am loved by my children and friends. I can do without.
I am sad but I can do without. I am preparing to do without
you.
I keep seeing headlines: MENTAL HEALTH IS WORSE. TEENS ARE STRESSED. ADULTS ARE STRESSED. DRUGS AND ALCOHOL AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ARE UP.
Like they shouldn’t be? This isn’t news. It is expected, because we are in a pandemic, the death rate is up, people are frightened, the scientific news changes daily and now we add a war.
OF COURSE PEOPLE ARE ANXIOUS AND STRESSED. And when stress goes up, substance “overuse” goes up too. Add fenanyl to the mix and the overdose death rate is up. Should I call it the “overuse” death rate to be politically correct? I do think that it is stupid to stigmatize “overuse”. But I also do not like the term “overuse”. Addiction may be stigmatized, but to me addiction means the drug or alcohol or gambling has taken over the person’s brain and it is the addiction that is lying to the person and to me. It makes it much easier for me to watch for relapse if I think of it as the habit or substance in control. There is no stigma there: the person is deeply ill and needs help. Part of the help is recognizing relapse. I look for signs.
With behavioral health we learn to watch for signs. The latest guidelines say that we should screen for behavioral health problems at well people visits. One in ten people are depressed and the lifetime incidence is higher.
The online and news articles sound surprised that there is an increase in behavioral health problems. Why would anyone be surprised? We have evolved emotions along with logic and emotions help us to survive. If you are a child in a war zone or a family with abuse or domestic violence, your brain wires to survive the crisis as best you can. These are ACE scores, Adverse Childhood Experiences. Every child’s ACE score is going up during the pandemic. Adults can develop PTSD, depression, anxiety: of course. This is how our species survive. It isn’t FUN but it is not a disaster either. We can help each other. We can listen to each other. We may have to say “I can only listen to this for ten minutes,” and set a timer. There was a cartoon with a father with a stop watch. The daughter is complaining as fast as she can. He stops her: “There. You have had your one minute of whining today.” Limit the news if it is driving you bananas or you feel more depressed or frightened. Turn off the television: if you live in a safe place, go for a walk. I have goldfinches and pine siskins arguing with each other in my front yard. The cats are hugely entertained by this. The cats only go out with harness and leash. I may need to follow Sol Duc up trees. She leaped on top of the outdoor cat cage yesterday, four feet up. I was surprised. No wonder they can catch birds: from a stand to four feet up and she is about ten months old. And see? We are distracted by the cat and relax a little.
If you are not trying to escape a war zone or something else horrible, give yourself the gentle gifts: things that make you relax. Stupid cat videos, old music, reread a beloved book, a gentle walk outside. Yesterday I “walked” Elwha. He spent the whole walk sitting on the porch watching the birds. Two birds landed in the grass and he immediately morphed to hunter, but was still on a leash. I saw a pair of robins in the back yard. One was holding something in her beak. A gift for the other? Nest building? Nestlings already?
My other go to is the trees. I go lean on a tree when I feel overwhelmed. The trees do not seem to mind. Rocks don’t either and I am very grateful.
Blessings.
Our rhododendrons are blooming.
#ACE scores #behavioral health #emotion #fear #normal emotional response
April was a very interesting month! I went to Europe for the first time since 1988 and got covid, so had to stay an extra 8 days. The version I got was a mild cold and my lungs did not get worse. Traveling on oxygen is really challenging. I was anxious to get home because my son and daughter-in-law got married after postponing in 2020 and 2021, so they married on April 30th! It was a wonderful wedding!
So, I had to do some planning for the A to Z, writing about women artists, mostly Helen Burling Ottaway, my mother. I took a number of my mother’s etchings to give to friends in Europe and used those because they were what I had. In typing up her resume, I learned more about her! She was a prolific artist and I want to get more of her art out there. I had originally planned to set up an on line shop of her work, but the Europe trip, covid and the wedding derailed that idea! I still want to do that, but I am a bit slow about it. I need to catalog and photograph her work, after I recover from the wedding extravaganza.
When I got home from my trip on April 12, I started doing two posts a day. I did the present letter and then worked from the end of the alphabet, setting up Z for Zarathustra to go live on April 30th. By the last week of April, I had it all set to go live day by day. This is good, because there was no way I would have posted from the last Wednesday on!
I did not get to surf other writers blogs as much as I had planned. Too busy in Europe and too busy with wedding. This week I mostly want to do not very much. I am sorting wedding photographs, the ones I took, and sending them to the new bride and groom.
The picture is of my two aunts at the music rehearsal. I was cantor and led the two hymns. Both of my father’s sisters are church organists. They played four hands for the processional and the recessional and were wonderful! With both my parents gone I was very very grateful to have them present.
I had covid recently AND I have been very lucky with it.
WHAT?
Ok, so when the war started I had been talking to a friend in Europe about visiting. He said nice seasons were May and September, but he and his wife have a kitchen make over planned for September.
“My son is getting married at the end of April, after two year long postponements, and so May doesn’t seem feasible. Maybe next May.”
Then the war starts. And it is affecting gasoline and causing inflation. I call my friend. “Can I come in two weeks?” March to early April.
“Yes. We have other guests a week after that.”
“Ok.” I try to get a British Airways ticket to stop in London to see an old friend from high school. British Airways has a computer attack and three days go by. To heck with it. I buy a ticket to Paris and on to my friend’s country.
I spend an hour on the phone trying to change to a layover in Paris for three days. I manage that. I fly to Paris and then take the train to London. Three wonderful days with my friend in London. I mask on planes, metros and trains. I double mask on the airplane, with my oxygen, and use a ceramic straw to drink liquids.
After three days I take the train back to Paris, the local train to the airport, and fly to my old friend’s. I arrive at midnight and we take the metro.
We do lots of sightseeing and take a memory trip to his parents’ graves and the town we lived in when I was 17 and he was 18.5. I was an exchange student. The language comes back. I can read but listening is more difficult. My brain won’t process it fast enough.
Four days before I am due to fly back, I get an email from AirFrance. I need a negative PCR covid test within 24 hours of flying to return to the US.
Well. I have a mild headache and muscle aches. Probably not covid, BUT. I go online, register in the country for a test and go to the testing site. Positive. I read about covid. The muscle aches of this strain usually happen at day 4-5. I did notice that going from London to Paris to my destination four days earlier, I feel a little off balance. Not bad, not spinning, just slightly weird. So my guess is that I am at day 4 or 5 of covid.
My hosts have both had covid within the last month, so I am not confined to my room. I read the rules for being allowed on the airplane once you HAVE covid. I have to wait 11 days, have a certificate of the test and then the eleven day certificate saying cleared. I isolate for 5 days, spend about 8 hours rescheduling the flight with Air France and Delta, and contact my doctor. My doc wants me to take medicine, but the local medical people where I am say I am not sick enough. I agree with the local people. The headache is gone the next day, I have mild sniffles, and my lungs are fine. Well, at least, they are no worse.
When I am out of isolation, I take a train to another town masked and stay at a hotel for four days. In that country, 80% of the people are vaccinated and 80% have had covid. They are no longer masking, except a few. I am feeling good. I mask when I am around other people and in all public spaces in the hotel.
The trip home is rather more exciting than I would like. At the airport I am informed that I need a doctor clearance ALSO. They say retest. I say “I AM a doctor.” and pull out a copy of my license. I brought it just in case the war spread and I needed to help out. They let me on the plane. In Paris I nearly miss my connection, but am one of the last 8 people on the plane. I am very relieved once we take off.
The silver lining is that at my son’s wedding I am now very unlikely to get covid or give anyone covid and mine was very mild. The Omicron BA2.12.1 that is circulating in Europe is milder than the previous strains AND ten times more contagious or more. So the covid is morphing towards a cold, which is what coronaviruses used to do to us. There are some strains that I read about that are going in a more virulent direction, so I would prefer to have the mild one and be protected from the nasty ones.
I am hoping that it’s more and more Omicron BA2.12.1, since it seems to be milder. I am reassured that covid did not make my lungs worse. Within a week I am better from covid and then get what seems like a normal cold. Covid testing negative. I am feeling well for the wedding and reassured that a normal cold does not force me on to continuous oxygen. I am feeling lucky about the version of covid that I have but I am NOT recommending that people get it on purpose, because even with mild covid, some people go on to develop long covid. Here is an article that I got yesterday through the American Academy of Family Practice:
Long covid is very worrisome and we don’t know what it will look like after a year or more. Many of the present studies are on unimmunized people, from the first year of covid, so the studies of immunized are still evolving. There is hope that there is less risk of long covid with immunization but there is still a risk.
Covid will continue to morph into different strains. We continue to get “colds” or “upper respiratory infections” because the viruses are very very good and fast at changing and avoiding our immune systems. Consider checking the CDC data tracker above regularly to see if your county or your destination has a high covid level and if so, mask back up.
One caveat: my local health department says we have a high level of transmission right now, here:
Remember that all of these sites have to exchange data and update everything. My best guess is that the local has the best numbers, but that is a guess.
It is gracious of the mountain to show herself the day after my son and daughter-in-law’s wedding. I stay in a rental house with two aunts and an uncle (all in their 80s), my daughter, and two old friends and their son. The age range is 13 to 86. When the fog and clouds fall away from the mountain we all rush for our cameras.
Last day of April A to Z, blogging about Women Artists and particularly Helen Burling Ottaway, my mother. Can you name five women artists now?
This etching is from 1975. I was fourteen years old. I remember my parents discussing titles of etchings. My father, Malcolm Kenyon Ottaway, would often help title them. This etching is titled “Thus spoke Zarasthustra”. I wish that my parents were alive so that I could ask about this etching. Why Friedrich Nietzsche? When I am fourteen, my father receives his MA in mathematics and leaves SUNY Binghampton for a job at General Electric in Alexandria, Virginia. We move from New York State to Virginia and I start high school that year. I think that Alexandria was a much better place for my mother, all the art and artists, than for my father.
I hope that you have had a wonderful month in April: and I hold those in my heart in the war zones or who are lost and suffering.
Dang, I’ve got a lot of stages. So it is a long playlist! I can’t complain (yes I can), after all, I wrote the stages. Hmm, to work, to work, to play, to PEACE.
Twisting words- The Grass is Blue – Dolly Parton
Confusion- Get it Worked On -Delbert McClinton
Denial- Old Number 7- The Devil Makes Three
Bargaining – Gallows Pole- Alvin Youngblood Hart
Anger- Joanne Little- Sweet Honey in the Rock
Bitterness -The Wound That Never Heals – Jim White
Revenge -Silver Dagger- Dolly Parton
Acting Out – Pills I Took- Hank Williams III
Oppositional Defiance- All Hail- The Devil Makes Three
Grief -Days Like These – Over the Rhine
Acceptance- In my time of dying – Alvin Youngblood Hart
Forgiveness -Jesus on the Mainline – Mississippi Fred McDowell
Healing- I be your water- Sweet Honey in the Rock
Hope – So Glad I’m Here- Sweet Honey in the Rock
Reconciliation – You are loved, Victoria Williams
Peace – Everybody Ought to Know (and) Redemption Song- Sweet Honey in the Rock
Discover and re-discover Mexicoβs cuisine, culture and history through the recipes, backyard stories and other interesting findings of an expatriate in Canada
Engaging in some lyrical athletics whilst painting pictures with words and pounding the pavement. I run; blog; write poetry; chase after my kids & drink coffee.
Refugees welcome - FlΓΌchtlinge willkommen I am teaching German to refugees. Ich unterrichte geflΓΌchtete Menschen in der deutschen Sprache. I am writing this blog in English and German because my friends speak English and German. Ich schreibe auf Deutsch und Englisch, weil meine Freunde Deutsch und Englisch sprechen.
KO Rural Mad As Hell Blog 
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