Happy

Happy

May Sarton writes of happiness, in the quiet at home.

I am so happy when I dance that I smile with joy.
I wonder about the Sufis spinning
and if it is the same.
The poetry has that joy
and anyone who calls God/Dess the Beloved
has my attention.
One who was almost a friend
would laugh with me at restaurants.
Twice strangers thank us for having so much fun.
say our laughter gives them joy.
Thinking about happiness,
I think of my son’s capacity for joy
and wonder where he got it.
Surprise: from me, I think.
From me.

Unvitiated

Wondering why vitiate
ads from drinking carbonate
seems a loaded silly freight
puzzle future centuries late
time foils stupid race hate
future can’t tell the state
from all attempts to carbon date

_________________________

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: vitiate.

I look for songs with the word vitiate: pretty much heavy metal. Let’s go with this song instead:

We sang the lullaby in our last concert. It is gorgeous. Unvitiated.

I took the photograph this month at Kai Tai Lagoon.

Fear

When someone tries to hit me
I fight back
I didn’t worry much in clinic
even when patients yelled
it indicated they were upset
and usually I knew why

Not much fear there.

So what do I fear?

Abandonment
and lies
the one who says they care
that we will be friends
even that they love me
and later walk away

But that has already happened
more than once
and I survive
and the Beloved is still here
and there
and everywhere I am
and everywhere you are
and everything is connected
so there is no fear
and even a chance
that abandoned
I still thrive

____________________

The photograph is from Marrowstone Island in July 2022.

Stone heart

My mind is done and unsurprised. My heart a stubborn rock.
My heart does not give up: loves where it loves. It doesn’t care
about reality or whether it is derided or mocked.
My mind moves on and kicks my heart, wondering where
this tenacity stems from. My heart is done with tears.
It agrees to new friends and joys in dance.
When my mind says forget, my heart jumps and steers
my body into a warrior fighting stance.
My mind is cynical and laughs and derides my heart.
I let them fight back and forth every day.
I cannot reach an end unless I start
to honor my feelings, the heart must hold sway.
My mind moves on, ignoring what you do.
Yet my stubborn heart remains a friend, strong and true.

Fine fettle

Our giant salmon is in fine fettle
Stuffed with rhodys and not with nettles!

_________________

Taken at the Rhododendron Parade in Port Townsend, Washington, on Saturday, May 20, 2023.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: nettle. Gosh, telepathy or prescience or something. I took the picture two days before the prompt and those are the only photographs I took of the fabulous parade!

Untie

Untie my heart and go find
I am not looking anymore
I am playing for the summer
Back to work in the fall
but my heart is untied
and has escaped control.
It might be wild or quiet
or silly or angry. It might
like this today and that tomorrow.
It might wail with sorrow
and then laugh and laugh.

Heart untied and

Gone.

The white furry object is not a tie. It is a Barbie stole made of rabbit fur and lined with pink fabric. Both cats are enjoying carrying it around the house and shaking it and pretending that it is a live rabbit. That stole has to be nearly 50 years old, so I am letting the cats choose it as a toy. Good that I have great ancient cat toys.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: ties.

Control

If control is the goal
this is not love.
If I listen to others
yet don’t share myself,
this is not love.
If you hoard information about others,
this is not love.
If I reject people I can’t control,
this is not love.

If you have to be the smartest,
this is not love.
If I have to know the most,
this is not love.
If you keep everything secret,
this is not love.
If I share nothing with others,
this is not love.

Is it fear that keeps me from loving?
Is it anger that keeps you from loving?
Is it hate that keeps me from loving?
What keeps us from loving?

Snow globe full of lies

I took the bandage off today. I would really like to heal.
The scab between my breasts is bright hot angry red.
I gently scrub with soap and the scab slowly peels
showing the crater in my chest. I am the walking dead.
The small child wants so badly to believe your word is true.
You say you’ll be her friend forever no matter what.
My devil laughs, a cynic. My angel turns away from you.
When you walk away you drag behind each inch of my child’s gut.
I see the wound is pulsing and now I give a start.
You break your word, you lie, to my much abused small child.
The pulsing mass I see is my aching bleeding heart.
Every injury triples on the child you hold inside.
I don’t stop loving even though I am gravely hurt.
You’ve never loved at all: you grind hearts into the dirt.

____________________

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: snow globe.

A world built of lies, like a snow globe. Detached from reality. Contained, with music, and you can shake it up. It looks so pretty, but it isn’t real.

Medical conditions

I am reading the list of medical conditions that put people at high risk from Covid-19.

I can nearly say that being a live human “bean”, as Walk Kelly would say, puts one at high risk from Covid-19.

My intuition studies medical conditions
alcohol, overweight, diabetes, drugs
it doesn’t say much about auto emissions
or the healthy power of genuine hugs
hypertension, asthma, bad livers or hearts
Covid could get you if you don’t watch out
I wonder if risks include noxious farts
I’m in denial and not a bit stout
dementia, disability, HIV or depression
check off the ones you don’t have, think positive!
I eat an ice cream bar while secretly confessing
that eating and drinking might be causative
Happy or sad or pie in the sky
There is a daily risk that I could die

__________________________________

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/need-extra-precautions/people-with-medical-conditions.html

Really, that list contains nearly everyone.

Words

Always, perfect, us, and forever
A part of me stands back wondering why
I want to believe but cannot almost ever
He tells these formidable obvious lies
Like my sister you build a story
You are the star and say you never lie
I blink in wonder at your false silly glory
You build a castle of lies while I wonder why
I’d like to believe we’ll always be friends
A part of me wants security, foolish hope
I give it 50/50, unsurprised when it ends
I think you should wash your mouth out with soap
The best liars adore and believe their own words
And it takes years for the real truth to be heard

_________________________

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: words.