grounded

Poem: grounded

grief is an ox
that stands in the room with me
and overshadows
everything

no
grief
is a plow
pulled by an ox
I try to guide it
in the furrows

no
grief is the heavy ground
the plow turns it
the ox pulls
I guide it
in the furrows

no
I am grieving
I let it be close
I don’t push it
in to an ox
in to a plow
in to the earth
I let it in
I grieve

flooded

I wrote this after the tsunami in Japan. I was thinking about PTSD and triggers and being overwhelmed. And the flooding now in Texas….

Flooded

I cry because
the laundry overflowed
the sewer blocked again
we might have to pull up the floor
and lay it down a third time
I hate the laundromat
water runs across the floor
as fast as the tsunami
crossing the fields
crushing the houses
catching the trucks
in Japan

I cry because
I have to ask for help again
Help comes
but the memories of asking
when it didn’t
help didn’t come
and I was abandoned or humiliated
rise up and overwhelm me
I am flooded
I am helpless
someone help those people
The shaking earth is bad enough
But the ocean rolling inland
Over all
Breaking all
Beams to toothpicks
Those are the memories that rise up
And flood me
I think of the soldiers
and victims of wars and disasters
and PTSD
tsunami
of memory

 

previously published on everything2.com

For the Daily Prompt: memorize. In PTSD, the memories are not what people want to memorize.

music  Randy Newman Louisiana 1927

 

ShelterBox

ShelterBox is a disaster relief organization that delivers a box with a family size tent, solar lights, water storage and purification equipment, thermal blankets and cooking utensils, and some things for children. The goal is immediate shelter and to help start the process of creating a home. The boxes are delivered to people world wide that have been hit by a disaster, man made or natural. They prepare and adjust them for local conditions.

ShelterBox started in 2000 in Helston, Cornwall, UK. That year, the Rotary Club of Helston-Lizard adopted it as its millennium project. The first shipment of 143 boxes went to was sent to victims of the 2001 Gujarat earthquake. ShelterBox ramped up during the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami. ShelterBox provided shelter for 28,000 families after the 7.0 magnitude earthquake in Haiti in 2010, about 25% of the tents sent by charities.

In the US, a ShelterBox costs $1000.00 to sponsor. Our small Sunrise Rotary Club buys at least one each year. We are notified that our box from last year went to Syrian refugees. I am so glad to be part of an organization that is doing something that is specific and positive in the world. Also, we are in a serious earthquake and tsunami zone: I hope someone sends us ShelterBoxes when we get hit. I prepare, but I keep wondering where to store things. If the house falls down, it seems unlikely that I could get to my stores….

ShelterBox gets a very high rating from Charity Navigator. Rotary International chose ShelterBox as their first Project Partner in 2012 and has renewed the partnership with ShelterBox in 2016 for another three year term.

ShelterBox: https://www.shelterbox.org/
Rotary and ShelterBox: http://www.shelterboxusa.org/about.php?page=16
wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ShelterBox
Charity Navigator: https://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?keyword_list=ShelterBox&Submit2=Search&bay=search.results

Music: Would you harbor me?
http://ptsunriserotary.org/

I was going to work at clinic one day last week and I was feeling down and tired. I saw this rainbow and stopped in a parking lot to photograph it. And the brighter one is leading directly to my clinic and my work.

Emergency preparedness

In Venezuela now
some people get water once a week
and sicken from it

First, withdrawal
When we have our eathquake
Tsumani and roads and bridges are gone

If one in three adults in Utah
Got an opioid prescription in 2014
What are the numbers here?
Opioids
Alcohol
Benzos
Caffeine
After the first wave of death
and grief, withdrawal begins
Not just addictive drugs
from insulin
from blood pressure meds
anticoagulants
seizure medicine
chemo ground to a halt
I read that alcohol is best to trade in disaster
and chaos and loss
Guarded by guns in small gangs
We are told to store water
Where?
If the house falls down
and I can get out, where would I put water?
A bunker in the ground?
I stock straws for water
I wish I could buy 9000
for my town
I stock books for when the computers
go silent
I stock songs in my head
memorized all
I fight for all my patients
Who would I not fight for?
Maybe it would be better to die
or be captured early
I stock love not guns.

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2016/05/26/world/americas/desperate-times-in-venezuela/s/27VENEZUELA-SS-slide-3ZIT.html?_r=0

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/may/26/utah-mormons-prescription-painkiller-addiction

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/07/20/the-really-big-one