Tag Archives: photography

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not really, right?

I ask a male friend of mine, older and perhaps wiser. “Um, the guys I have dated or even just hung out with are only interested in their interests. They are not interested in me or what I am doing. For example, I mention that I have a blog twice to two different males recently and they completely ignore it. I mention that I just did a poetry reading and one whips out his phone and shows me a family member’s poem. What is it with that?”

“Well,” he says, “Men are only interested in what a woman is doing, if they are in love with her.”

“Really?” I say. “Holy crap.”

“Absolutely.”

I am still chewing on this. I have dated various “gentlemen” for a couple of years each since I got divorced. One of them is still a friend. Last month he said, “I think you like writing better than I do.” Um. He has known me since 2008. Powers of observation, like a hawk in flight, heh.

I can think of seven guys since 2007, when my divorce was final, who really showed very little interest in what I was doing. Ok, one of them did read my blog and another admitted to reading at least one post, but refused to EVER comment. What the hell? Meanwhile they want to talk about their collections, their jobs, their lives, their interests.

And so I reexamine my ex-husband. He actually DID listen and WAS interested. Mostly he laughed at me, but medical school and residency were off the scale dysfunctional and ridiculous. And in turn I listened to his golf shots and watched Payne Stewart dress in NFL colors and plus fours.

But I don’t get it. Maybe the younger generations are a lot smarter and I think they are darn smart to say who cares about the XX or XY or XO or XYY chromosomes! There are lots of other chromosomes! Let’s get over race and gender! That stuff is shallow unless you are interested in someone in the pants zone.

And then men complain to me that they do not understand women. Really? I ask if they have ever read a romance novel. One said, “Those are for women. I wouldn’t do that.” So one romance would take away your man credentials? I say, well, you might understand what our culture indoctrinates women with if you did read a romance. Not to mention notice that Disney animation glorifies virginal princesses, but gosh, queens are either dead or evil. Doesn’t seem like a good career choice, breeder for the ruler. Especially if you’ll die in childbirth or turn evil.

I hope my male friend is wrong, but I am paying attention. And noticing if a man is not.


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Food needs two

Ok, so what menu did I choose for my friends with food needs, as listed in the previous post.

First course: Sweet Pea soup. The color is vivid and almost lurid. My guests look worried until they taste it. It tastes like spring! Butter, onions, broth and frozen sweet peas, just cooked. My guests go from worried to asking for seconds.

Second course:

Lentils baked with sausages. This is also not a gloriously pretty dish. Again, my guests love the taste. Lentils, a little red wine, butter, onions, bay leaf, sausages, thyme and baked. Yum.

As well as:

Roasted Ronde de Nice Squash with California rice and Early Girl tomatoes. Except I did not make the rice, I couldn’t get farmer cheese and the tomatoes were varied and from the store. And a different kind of squash! This is from a cookbook new to me: Community Table, Recipes for an Ecological Future. The sweet pea soup is from a cookbook that I’ve had for forty years and the lentils are from memory, a recipe a friend taught me in the 1980s.

Dessert is fruit salad and chocolate. With tea.

No liver, gluten, shellfish, giant rubbery cooked mushrooms, anchovies, dried fishies or grubs.

Voila! Food needs satisfied!

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puppets

My sister Christine Ottaway died in 2012 of breast cancer.

I took this photograph at Christmas in Alexandria, Virginia in the late 1970s. I am three years older and made her stuffed toys and puppets for years. The first one was a stuffed snake that I sewed by hand, of brown flowered fabric. My mother was very unconvinced about it, but Chris and I had both longed for the giant velvet snakes at the County Fair. We failed to win one. The snake I made her was only two feet long, but she loved it.

I made the puppet on the left and bought her the one on the right.

It’s lovely to still have the photographs and memories.

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The cliffs erode

The cliffs erode and trees fall. This tree is still alive, but not for long.

Chunks of clay and rocks are washed by the tides. Is the water rising?

I find beautiful rocks, as a consequence of the waters that seem to be rising.

Confidence and cliffs eroding.

__________________________

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: consequences.

Taken on Marrowstone Island, March 8, 2023.

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You will be labeled

If you get sick
with something the doctors don’t understand
you will be labeled
unstable
mental
bipolar
crazy.

They will try to drug you.

How do you tell
when they are right
and you are crazy
brain on fire
and when you aren’t?

Don’t ask me.
I’m a Family Practice doc
and I’m rural
and I’m a girl.

I’m the one they make fun of
in the medical schools.
“The rural doctor
transferred this patient.”

Yes we did.
Because we knew it was something
different
that needed more
than we had
in our small town
in our small hospital.

Once a neurosurgeon says,
“You are transferring the patient
because it’s Friday
and you don’t want to work
on the weekend.”
“She needs an MRI,” I say
“and we don’t have one.”
and transfer her anyway.
I call two days later.
After the MRI, she is in
the operating room
for a tumor in her spine.
He doesn’t call me back
but I hope he remembers.
I certainly do, after years
and years.

If you get sick
with something the doctors don’t understand
you will be labeled
unstable
mental
bipolar
crazy.

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Sailing with my father

Sailing with my father
after I’m divorced
we take my two children.
They and I are small.
My father is frail,
55 years of Camel cigarettes
in his lungs.
“Papa,” I say, “How would we
pull you in if you went
overboard? We aren’t strong enough.”
Nor is he strong enough
to pull me in.
My father thinks. “You are right,”
he says, “We’ll make a Go Bag.”
A 3 to 1 pulley, with a clip.
We can clip it to the boom
and push it out over the water.
Attach the pulley to the life jacket
and I can winch nearly anyone aboard.
Maybe. We have it in a dry bag,
with towels and chocolate
and a set of sweats,
a space blanket
because the water is cold here,
45-55. My father knows, I’m sure,
that if he falls in, he’d be unlikely
to survive even if I did reel him in,
an unlikely catch. We wear our life jackets
and the kids do too.

One time we hit container ship waves
when my son is on the bow.
He is thrown up and drops, flat,
prone on the bow, holding on.
This boat has no railings
but my children pay attention.

We never have to use the pulley.

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At first my father said that we could unhook the haul down and use the boom, but I said, if it’s me and two little kids and I have to drop sail and get back to someone, that is too hard. How do we make it easier?