Tag Archives: home

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Safe/Not Safe

I think safety is an illusion. BUT it is also nice to feel safe and embrace the illusion.

I sleep best in tents, because as a child, I felt safest at our families “shacks on a lake” in Ontario. Cabins, but pretty much one room cabins. No electricity, outhouses, and my family lived in tents. I loved it. I was more afraid of people than bears.

The pandemic, or this pandemic, has made people feel less safe. But that safety was an illusion too. I had influenza in 2003 and was out sick for two months. I had a racing heart and it hurt to breathe. No asthma. Only rest seemed to help. My doctor and I had no idea when it would resolve. It resolved after two months. My partners accused me of malingering and lying.

A fast heart rate can come from a panic attack, but it works the other way too. If your heart rate is very fast, you may feel panicky. When I nebulize people with albuterol for the first time, I warn them that it may feel like adrenaline, it may speed their heart and they might feel panicky. A friend with Long Covid kept saying that maybe they were just anxious. I got them to have an Urgent Care test them: a resting and a walking heart rate. At rest 72 beats per minute. Normal. Walking, their heart rate jumped to 165, very abnormal! Normal is 70-100 beats per minute, though if one is out of shape, 110 or 120 can result from unaccustomed exercise. But there is no way an athlete in their 20s should jump to 165. The Long Covid heart rate was driving the anxiety, not the other way around.

After I had the 2003 influenza, I read a book of essays about the 1918-1921 influenza pandemic. And I realized that we would probably have a pandemic in my lifetime. I thought it would be influenza, not coronavirus! Hopefully the world will learn a little from this one and change a little over time and be a little more sane if (ok, when) there is another pandemic.

I saw this video today. Wow, what costumes (all 1970s) and dancing! Wonderful! And such a sad song about a broken friendship that used to feel safe.

I hope that you have places or people that you feel safe with. Elwha sometimes likes to sit in the cat tent, even if it is partly open. It feels safe.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: safe.

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Driving Lily

I was driven yesterday. I have an ill friend. She is currently in a “rehab”, aka “nursing home”, in Sequim. I drive 40 minutes to be with her at an hour appointment. Afterwards we check in at the nursing home and then I drive her back to her house, 40 minutes again. That is where Lily is. Lily is her cat. My friend was in the hospital for six days and now the “rehab” for two weeks. My friend wants to go home. Lily is miserable. She misses her person and hisses and swipes at me. I was driven to take my friend to see her cat.

Lily let me pet her yesterday because I brought her person home. However, the whole thing was a near disaster. My friend has been trying to get stronger, but she is not stronger. She is weaker. She has three steps into her house. We were there for about three hours. She sat to wash the cat’s bowl in the kitchen sink and Lily was very very happy to be near her. My friend was then tired enough that we had real difficulty getting her out of the house and back in the car. I used a bath stool to let her stop and sit about every four feet. She was using a walker, but could barely walk. She sat in the doorway of the house and talked about crawling. However, those muscles in your upper legs? Those are some of the biggest muscles in the body, and if you can barely walk, scooting or crawling is not feasible either.

We made it to the car without having to call an ambulance. I’m pretty strong for my age and size, but I’m not strong enough to carry her alone.

Poor Lily. I don’t think I dare try to get her in a cat carrier and she’d probably cry all the way driving and anyhow, the nursing home would need a shot record.

Lily will have to put up with my care for now.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: driven.

I am not my friend’s doctor, I am just a friend.

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Who, me?

I am Elwha.

I am not a poser. Mom looks at me and holds up the little box that obsesses her. I stop what I am doing. I am a dignified two year old adult cat, not some goofy little kitten. I let her take pictures and wait until her attention is elsewhere. Usually.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: poser.