Category Archives: oxygen

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Frail

I wrote this poem about my father at least a year before he died. He was on oxygen, on steroids, terrible emphysema from 55 years of unfiltered Camel cigarettes. He would not accept much help and became more and more of a hermit. He did continue with the Rainshadow Chorale and because of it he quit smoking three years before he died.

Frail

We are going sailing
My partner says to me
“Invite him if you want.”

Then I am busy for a while

I think of calling, then forget

He was not at chorus on Monday

At last I say,
“I haven’t called. We’ll just sail.
Just us today.”

I haven’t called
because he was not at chorus on Monday

He is frail
55 years of camels
two packs a day
as if each cigarette
destroyed one alveolus
in his lungs
one tiny air/blood interface
built to exchange oxygen
and carbon dioxide
the loss is cumulative


He is frail
he is proud that the choral director
says, “I need you.”
He can’t sustain
but his entrances and time
are the best
among the basses.
They need him.

Chorus
is our winter link
two introverts
we hug at the start of chorus
sing for two hours
and talk for a few minutes at the end

Occasionally we go for a beer
I invite him for dinner
but he comes less and less
he often does not feel well at night

He looks smaller at chorus
this season
this is normal in emphysema
the body sheds weight
too much tissue to oxygenate
too hard for the lungs
and the heart, working overtime
to make up the difference
he is blessed with low blood pressure
genetic, from his father,
tough English stock,
otherwise I think he’d be dead

I didn’t call
before we went sailing
because I am afraid

I’ve driven out before
when he has not answered the phone
for a day or two
wondering if I would find him dead

I didn’t call
before we went sailing
because he was not at chorus on Monday
because if he didn’t answer today
I would not go

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For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: frail.

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Pneumonia makes me slenderize

Pneumonia makes me slenderize
I feel like I’ve been blenderized
Steals my breath and appetite
Work to breathe both day and night
My heart goes fast, trials one to four
I’d rather not have any more
Ten pounds down, gone like smoke
Carbohydrates make me choke
The legacy of my fourth round
I can’t eat gluten, ounce nor pound
And yet I still come out ahead
Since I am alive and still not dead

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Four pneumonias in 24 years. I have an antibody response, which peaks about six weeks after the infection. Colds don’t trigger it. This photograph is two months in to my 2021 round. I drop ten pounds in the first week and eating is always difficult. I do not recommend this method of weight loss.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: slenderize.

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Mortal

I am feeling mortal.

I am in my post-pneumonia phase where people say, “Well, you LOOK great.” This is round four, so it’s not a surprise. It just took two years this time, instead of two months. In 2003 it took two months.

There are various things feeding in to this. A friend my age has had a stroke. “NO!” I think, “TOO YOUNG!” The death of the actor from friends bothers me mostly because he’s nearly a decade younger. Drugs and alcohol shorten the lifespan by quite a bit. A study checking for five things: inactivity, drugs, tobacco, alcohol and very heavy weight showed that the people with all five tended to die 20 years sooner than the people with none. That study was at least a decade ago if not two. So cross off about 4 years for any of those, sigh. A cardiologist recently said tobacco is worse than alcohol and now I am wondering how much worse? And how do they measure that? Tobacco kills more but serious alcohol use is a lot faster at killing people. Both of them affect all body systems: GI, heart, lungs, brain, bone marrow, liver, kidneys, and so forth. Even skin.

Also, the last lung test was still abnormal even though I am off oxygen and feeling mostly good. I am having muscle trouble though. Every morning I wake with really bad pain in both thighs and whatever muscles I’ve been trying to build. This has been going on since at least August. Since I think that this is an antibody disorder, it implies that the antibody baseline has risen to the point where my muscles are grumpy and hurt. Alternatively it could be a Long Covid issue: microclots could be clogging the capillaries in the muscles when I exercise and causing hypoxia in muscles, which means they can’t build. Muscle cells are fascinating. When you exercise the cells need more food and build new insulin receptors in the cell wall. So exercise changes the individual muscle cells! How very amazing. My muscles are resisting the build and it is very annoying. There is research going on re the microclots, but there is bleeding risk from the anticoagulants including strokes. So, um, well, I seem to be stuck. It is not stopping me from hiking and dancing and being active but boy does it hurt in the mornings.

This is not very bucolic, is it? I am still attending the Long Covid talks and it is really fascinating and quite scary. It’s just a very very nasty virus. I wish it would calm down. The 1918-1921 influenza really calmed down after three years, but there are no guarantees. Anyhow, at least I can dance!

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: bucolic.

The photograph is taken in Michigan in 2014.

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Storm tossed

The word tethered makes me think of the year and a half on oxygen. I had a standing concentrator for in the house. This means that I have oxygen tubing following me on three floors. I had to have connectors and I got caught on everything. I tripped over it. I wondered why it wasn’t helping and discovered the tubing was unplugged. The kittens chewed holes in it.

The sea plants are tethered too, to rocks, to grow up from the deep. I think this looks like a distressed stranded mermaid. Poor thing, her rock, her foundation has been thrown on shore by a storm. She can’t get home. I took this in May 2021, when I was still on continuous oxygen.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: tethered.

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Particles

Oh, dear. My not so cheerful take on “micro” today is the tiny particles in the air from the fires. The sky held this front yesterday and the weather changed. The air was brownish by afternoon. Yesterday at 5 the Air Quality Index was 36, not too awful. This am it is 78 here, though a map of Washington State AQI shows that it is really severe in Eastern Washington. Fire season.

The screen shot is from here.

I set up my home air filter: a box fan and four filters. I had my windows open last night and woke with a headache from the air. It also makes me irritable. When I really smell the smoke, my brain keeps sounding an alarm: “Fire! fire!” I have to reassure it: yes, there is a fire, but it is not here right now. Cross your fingers. Now I’ve closed the house and have the fan running. Inelegant but very effective at filtering the tiny particles and cleaning up the air.

Consider wearing an N95 if you have to be out. We do not want those tiny micro particles in our lungs. I am holed up in the house today. We may have rain tomorrow which will quiet it down.

When the air gets really bad, the cats even refuse to go out.

Be careful out there.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: micro.

Filter instructions: https://encycla.com/Corsi-Rosenthal_Cube.

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Long Covid imaging

In the last Long Covid talk that I attended and wrote about (here: Pulmonary Manifestations of Long Covid), the pulmonologist and intensivist says that one problem with Long Covid is that we do not have imaging that can “see” it.

That is, the chest x-ray looks normal, the echocardiogram may look normal (heart ultrasound), the chest CT scan may look normal, a brain CT or MRI may look normal, but the patient may still be tachycardic, feel exhausted, feel brain fog and have multiple other symptoms.

That pulmonologist listed five of the top mechanisms that are prolonged in the immune system. Most of the scientists and physicians are framing this as “immune system dysfunction”. I am not. I am framing it as “you were really really sick and your immune system is still on high alert and trying to protect you so you can recover”. Now wait, you say, how could chronic fatigue like symptoms protect me? Well, if you are exhausted, you can’t go to work and you’ll stay quiet at home most of the time and less exposure chance. But what about brain fog? Again, this will slow your interaction with other people and force you to rest and heal. But, you say, I don’t like it. Well, yeah. Patience. We call grumpy patients that are recovering “convalescents”. It is a good sign when they are grumpy and over it and just want to be better. That doesn’t mean I can make myself or anyone else heal faster.

The pulmonologist says that the best test is the six minute walk test. This is usually done by a respiratory therapist. The person walks in a circle for six minutes wearing a pulse ox, with the respiratory therapist doing regular checks. This distinguishes between the people who have primarily a lung issue from all the other issues. If the person is tachycardic (fast heart rate) but not hypoxic (oxygen level dropping), then it’s not primarily lungs though blood clots to the lungs sometimes have to be ruled out. One of the mechanisms in the immune system is microclots and an increased risk of blood clots. That can mean heart attack, stroke, or pulmonary embolus, a clot in the lungs. The microclots are suspected of causing some of the muscle fatigue and exercise intolerance, by clogging capillaries and reducing oxygen flow to muscle cells. Muscle cells do not like this at all.

I have done my own quick walk test with patients since 2003, when I had terrible influenza. About a week after my influenza started, with the temperature of 104 and heart rate at 100 at rest and 135 walking, my temperature came down. However, the fast heart rate continued. Normal heart rate is 70-100 and 135 walking will make you feel exhausted. I lay on the couch and could barely make my kids dinner for two months. It resolved then. I read a book about influenza and thought that I had “influenza viral pneumonia” where there is lung tissue swelling, reducing the air spaces, after influenza.

My quick walk test in clinic is to check a sitting oxygen level and heart rate and then have the person walk. I would have them walk up and down a short hall three times then sit down. When they sat, I watched the pulse oximeter recovery. Some people would jump from a resting heart rate of 62 to a walking heart rate of over 100, say 120. Their oxygen level could stay normal or it could drop. If they dropped below 88, I would get home oxygen and forbid them to return to work. If their oxygen level held, then they needed to rest until their walking heart rate stayed under 100 and they were no longer exhausted by gentle or normal activity. If they return to work with a walking heart rate of 120, they will be exhausted and are more likely to get a secondary pneumonia or have other problems. The heart does not like to run at 120 all the time. You can see why a person who already has some coronary artery blockage would be more likely to have a heart attack if they get pneumonia from influenza or Covid-19.

The conferences I am attending are talking about “targets” in the immune system. That is, new drugs. I think the science is wonderful and amazing, but I also think we need to step back and say, this is a really really bad infection and some people need a lot of support and reassurance and time to heal. Reassure them that even though they have not yet returned to normal, the immune system is working hard to protect them from other infections and it is saying very very loudly that they need to rest. Rest, recuperate and trust the immune system. Some things need immediate treatment, especially blood clots, heart attacks and strokes, but once those are ruled out, we need to support people through their convalescence and healing.

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The photograph is from April 2021, a few days after I was put on oxygen. A selfie.

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Pulmonary Manifestations of Long Covid

Today’s Zoom lecture was about pulmonary manifestations of Long Covid, and this is from the Schmidt Initiative for Long Covid Global ECHO Webinar Series, out of the U of New Mexico.

First of all, the talk is brilliant. The speaker is Lekshmi Santhosh, MD, MAEd, Asso Prof Med, Pulm Critical Care Med, UCSF, Intensive Care.

Two things to start with: she stressed the six minute walk test for patients, to distinguish oxygen desaturation (dropping) from the people who have terrible tachycardia (fast heart rate) only. The oxygen drop indicates that the person needs lung studies and may need oxygen, while tachycardia alone means either a heart problem, chronic fatigue/ME pattern or dysautonomia, where the heart goes fast when the person sits or stands up. Her point was that it’s a simple test and that Long Covid presents in multiple different patterns.

The second point is that there are least five main mechanisms that Long Covid can mess us up and people can have one or many. There is a review article in Nature last month (I need a copy!) and it talks about these five: immune system problems, gut microbiome problems, autoimmune responses, blood clotting/microclotting/endothelial problems and dysfunctional neurological signalling. SO: this is a MESS. She says that patient care needs to be individualized depending on which mechanism(s) are predominant and it can be more than one. This Covid-19 is a hella bad virus.

So: “The underlying biological mechanism may not be the same in each patient.” That is the understatement of the year.

She reiterates that the current diagnostic criteria, subject to change, is symptoms that last longer than 12 weeks after Covid-19 and two months past that. She states that the symptoms can wax and wane and that we need to listen to and believe patients.

In JAMA this month, there is an article that uses big data to find which symptoms are more associated with Long Covid, and lists 13 symptoms. Smell/taste tops the list but fatigue is there too. However, this is not a list for diagnosis, it’s a study list.

She also is careful to say that the treatment for the pulmonary manifestations is not the same as the people with the pattern that resembles chronic fatigue syndrome/ME. The pulmonary people can build exercise tolerance, but the CFS/ME folks need a different regimen, with pacing and energy conservation. That sounds like a subtle difference. I had both though my CFS/ME is weird. It does not put me in bed, I just can get really tired and need to sleep. It’s a bit invisible. People see me dance and would not guess that I have CFS/ME. All relative to previous function and energy, right?

For lung manifestations, she lists a pyramid, with the more rare things at the bottom. As follows:

  1. persistent dyspnea (shortness of breath)
  2. post viral reactive airways disease (asthma that can resolve from irritated pissed off lung tissue)
  3. deconditioning. She says that the isolation and quarantine with some people in very small rooms, leads to terrible deconditioning in some folks. They can build up, especially with supervised exercise with pulmonary rehabilitation and/or physical therapy. It is scary to exercise when you are short of breath and the supervision really helps, with limits on how much you should push, or encouragement to push.
  4. organizing pneumonia. This is rare and responds to steroids. Otherwise steroids are not good for the muscles in Long Covid, with the exception of inhaled steroids for the asthmatics and post viral reactive airways.
  5. post ARDS fibrosis: fibrosis is fibrous scarring that can form in the lungs. Anyone who has any terrible pneumonia and is in the ICU and intubated and on a ventilator can get this. Not everyone gets it, thankfully. ARDS is Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome. Luckily the fibrosis is rare and it turns out that in some people it improves with time, like years. She does not recommend the pulmonary fibrosis medicines right now. There are many causes of pulmonary fibrosis besides infection.
  6. PVD: peripheral vascular disease. Covid-19 increases clotting, so we have to look for both clots and for disease in arteries, which could be lungs, brain, heart, anywhere in the body.

She says DON’T assume that chest pain is from the lungs and don’t miss cardiovascular. That is, rule out a heart attack and pulmonary embolus first.

Other lung problems have to be kept in mind that are not caused by Covid-19. This list: Reflux associated cough, pleuritic pain, neuromuscular disease, vocal cord dysfunction, tracheal stenosis, tracheomalacia. Watch for those. She says that it is very very important to look at old chest x-rays and CT scans, because those can show previous signs of emphysema/COPD/asthma/fibrosis.

Testing: She puts the 6 minute walk test first. AFTER the thorough history and making sure there are no red flags for pulmonary embolism and heart attack. Those have to ruled out if there is any suspicion. Next: pulmonary function testing. If the DLCO is low, consider a chest CT. Consider TTE -TransThoracic Echocardiogram, to look at the heart. Labs: CBC (blood count), ESR, CRP, thyroid, +/-CPK.

She has diagnosed people who are sent to her with NOT Long Covid: they have metastatic lung cancer, metastatic prostate cancer, new pregnancy, hypersensitivity pneumonitis and many other things. She says, “Don’t assume it is Long Covid. Sometimes it isn’t.”

Now, this is all a formidable list of problems and this is JUST the lungs. Long Covid can affect every system in the body and every patient is different.

She also says that she has done more disability and accommodation paperwork in the last three years than in her entire career before that. That the US disability system is a horrid mess and that she has to talk to employers and insurers OFTEN to say that the person will get better faster and have less long term problems if she treats now and they have rest and return to work may need to be very gradual.

She approaches new patients by asking which symptoms are worst. She thinks about severity of the infection, vaccination status, previous/present other medical problems and habits that can contribute or worsen things (smoking, vaping, exposures). Her clinic is for Long Covid pulmonary, but now they have opened up a neurological branch. They use multiple other specialists as well.

Last quotation: “Until we elucidate the biology and have clinical trials, treatments are largely symptomatic.” So the basic science studies working on immune system, the gut microbiome, the clotting problems, are huge in figuring out what to do in clinical trials. This is a tremendously complex illness and three years into Covid-19, we are still trying to figure out the multiple mechanisms that cause Long Covid.

This was a very hopeful lecture from my standpoint, admitting that this is complex but that we are also working to sort out the mechanisms and work on treatments. She works hard at getting patient input and feedback as well.

Two links: A free PDF from Johns Hopkins on Bouncing Back from Covid. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/physical_medicine_rehabilitation/coronavirus-rehabilitation/_files/impact-of-covid-patient-recovery.pdf

The American Physical Therapy Association has articles as well: https://www.apta.org/patient-care/public-health-population-care/long-covid

Also here are webinar links:

SILC Global ECHO Webinar Series Resource Links June 28, 2023

Now, how will I use the Ragtag Daily Prompt riposte for this? I think I will just say again how important it is to listen to and believe our patients!

The photograph is from Marrowstone Island, East Beach. The shape in the driftwood is sort of lung shaped.

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Lungs, again

I saw the pulmonologist from Swedish Hospital last week and am still thinking about the visit.

My lung function on the pulmonary function tests did not change much from December. He gives me an inhaler, with a steroid and a long acting bronchodilator, two puffs twice a day. I use it for one day in December and promptly get Covid-19 mildly. I then ignored the inhaler until I talk to him in March. He says, “Use it for two months and we will see if your lungs improve.” I try it in March and get a cold, not Covid, within a day. I try it again in April and get a cold within two days. I then ignore the inhaler.

But at the end of March I start feeling a lot better and my fast twitch muscles start working again. I would get very tired and stiff when I use them. They are “back” but are very weak. I wanted to know if my lung testing improved too, but it didn’t. So what is going on here? I feel better but the lung studies are not better.

The pulmonologist says, “Well, the infections are probably coincidence.” Yeah, um, well, three for three. “But, if it’s not asthma, it could be bronchiectasis.” He asks when I did the methacholine test, negative, gold standard for asthma. I did it in 2014. Negative along with allergy testing.

I don’t know much about bronchiectasis. Mostly that it’s not asthma and not chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. It may be the garbage can that holds obstructive disorders that don’t fit either of those categories.

“Bronchiectasis means what?” I say. He says, “Usually there is a lot of coughing and mucous.” Nope. Well, I cough a lot with pneumonia and with colds if I don’t rest, but rarely cough anything up. “The test is a chest CT but we can’t do anything about it if you have it, so I don’t know if you want to do a CT.”

“If there’s nothing to do, then I don’t want one.” Because repeated CT scans increase cancer risk, way more so then an x-ray. I ask about work. “I still get really fatigued, and my muscles are recovering. If I am stronger at the end of the summer, I would think about work, but how would I protect my lungs?”

“Mask.” he says. “An N95 all the time would maybe help. We don’t really know.”

Ugh. We agree that I will see him in October. If my fatigue level stays where it is now, returning to work even half days is going to be too high risk, I think. I am liable to get pneumonia AGAIN and this time I might get stuck on oxygen. Or die, which I’d rather not right now.

I am reading about bronchiectasis. The Mayo Clinic doesn’t have an entry for it, though it has clinical trials and a special clinic. That would support it being a garbage can diagnosis. I am reading on Wikipedia, here, not my usual medical resource. Brochiectasis can particularly be caused by tuberculosis, mycobacterial illness. They distinguish cystic fibrosis bronchiectasis from non-cystic fibrosis bronchiectasis and other infections can cause it. Influenza, streptococcus, um, yeah, the infections I’ve had. I do not have cystic fibrosis or the alpha-1-antitrypsis disorder. And there is another disorder listed, a genetic one where the cilia don’t work right. Primary ciliary diskinesia. I don’t have that either, but my working diagnosis is PANS, with antibodies that screw up my cilia and fast twitch muscles. And that would put my lungs at risk for pneumonia.

So, says a friend, what do you need to take?

Nothing, I say. It means I have to keep stress down, be in a parasympathetic state instead of fight or flight sympathetic state, and stay the heck away from sick people. Oh, and mask on airplanes and probably avoid huge crowd things. Jazz Fest, big music festivals, riots, wars, etc. Exercise, eat right, don’t drink too much alcohol, don’t smoke anything, don’t do stupid things. Try not to get tuberculosis.

And still, I am doing well. The treatment for really bad bronchiectasis is lung transplant. I am still quite mild after four pneumonias and the kid illnesses and mononucleosis and colds and so forth. I do not cough all the time and am off oxygen. It’s looking less likely that I could return to work in person, though I don’t know about internet. It really depends on my energy level, what that does. Darn it. Uncertainty, isn’t it hella annoying? Oh, well, I am pretty used to it by now.

And that’s the lung news.

I can always hide in my tree house. But the food and water supply there is not so good.

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The work of disability

I look up the CDC website to see how many people are disabled. The CDC says that 27% of adults in the US have a disability. Yes, that is one in four. https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/disabilityandhealth/infographic-disability-impacts-all.html.

I find being disabled to be a ton of work.

I think the view of disability in the US is often people who sit at home and have money thrown at them from the government.

This is not so, not so, no, no, no.

In clinic a patient needs a new socket for his artificial leg, having had a cancer amputation. He is an expert still working in disability exams, so we do a visit where he dictates much of my note, because in order to get a new socket, medicare requires very specific information in the clinic note. We also have notes from physical therapy and his occupational therapist and the company that makes the sockets. Why does he need a new one? He has lost weight and the old one doesn’t fit any more so he can’t walk securely.

Even so, I think it took six months and we kept redoing versions of the paperwork.

Another patient needs a new electric wheelchair. That one takes a year of repeating insistence and paperwork.

After my March 2021 pneumonia, I am disabled, which pisses me off. I like my work. It’s unclear how long I will be on oxygen and since we’ve been working on a diagnosis besides “gets pneumonia super easily” since 2003, it’s hard to predict the trajectory. I don’t know if I will be on oxygen permanently. It is exhausting to drag myself to physician visits, in four different hospital systems. Oh, and a patient can apply for patient assistance with the finances, but then all four have different paperwork. I am sick as snot and have to try to keep track of the bills from four systems and four sets of on line passwords and where is the stupid appointment? Edmonds? Seattle? Bremerton? Augh. The fatigue that accompanies the pneumonia makes it hard to cook, hard to clean, hard to comprehend bills, exhausting to make phone calls. Anyone want to trade? I’ll work and you can be disabled?

My disability company requires paperwork too, lots of it, and my taxes, and there is a long list of rules that I reread periodically. I needed an attorney to sort out the rules, since the disability company won’t answer my questions.

Now I am off oxygen and better, though still dogged by fatigue. I think that is probably permanent, but then I sometimes hope it’s just that I am finally rebuilding muscle, since the fast twitch muscles didn’t work for two years. They are a bit recalcitrant now.

And I am not in a wheelchair, have not had an amputation, am not in a rehab. If you have to take buses in your wheelchair everywhere, need two people and a crane to get you out of bed into the wheelchair, have to use a computer to talk for you, imagine. Anyone who thinks disability is easy money is insane.

It’s not clear if I can return to work. I might get pneumonia number five, which would probably take me out. No one knows how to lessen my risk. And I don’t have the energy and do not know if I will.

All the unknowns and unclears and we don’t knows. No one is disabled for easy money because it’s a job trying to get well or trying to survive it. And yet, I am happy to be alive and even to be able to dance some! Dance on!