Monthly Archives: January 2025

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Ice climb

Friday afternoon I drive to Ouray, Colorado, to meet a friend from high school. She has been ice climbing for years! I plan to watch, because ice climbing sounds terrifying. But I do take my harness, just in case. My friend talks me into trying it. The picture is NOT me. That is a competitor and she is amazing!

My climb was at the beginner ice wall. There are volunteers with loaner gear from gear companies. Boots, crampons, two ice axes and a helmet. My friend and a friend of hers give me instructions and I watch my friend climb first. She will be climbing all week!

I am wearing 1980s snow pants. Puffy and unstylish, but very very warm! I got all the way up and acquitted myself decently! Kicking each foot into the ice and then trusting that it will hold me, that is the interesting bit. Heel down, so that the crampon, boot and foot become a lever. And all the time in the climbing gym helped me to trust the harness, trust the ice axes, trust my feet.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: lever.

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Travel risks

The President is withdrawing the United States from the World Health Organization. https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/01/withdrawing-the-united-states-from-the-worldhealth-organization/

Here is the link to write to the President: https://www.45office.com/contact/

I am writing daily, just not for the Ragtag Daily Prompt. Here is my short note today:

Dear President Trump: I strongly disagree with withdrawing the United States from the World Health Organization. One function of that organization is travel clinics. If a person is traveling to another country, they can find out what illnesses are present there and get immunizations and advice to avoid getting ill. This also helps physicians treat people who have returned from another country. The physician can contact a state health department which is in turn connected to the World Health Organization. This is a foolish, dramatic and unscientific decision on your part. I suggest that you reverse it immediately or resign as President.

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The question I have, is he closing the borders to United States citizens too? Without the travel clinics, who get information about each country from the World Health Organization, aren’t even our own state department employees at higher risk for illness? My son was an exchange student to southern Thailand. At the time he went, there was Japanese encephalitis. He was there two years after the tsunami. He got vaccinated for Japanese encephalitis before he went and he also took medicine to avoid malaria. So, are we not going to send or accept any more exchange students?

I strongly disagree with the decision to leave the World Health Organization and our country is on the verge of crazy.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: verge.

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What to check before bringing your elder home from the hospital

I get a call from the hospital (this is over a year ago). They say, “Your friend is ready for discharge. What time can you pick her up?”

I reply, “Can she walk?”

“What?”

“She has three steps up into her house. Can she walk, because otherwise I can’t get her into her home.”

“Oh, uh, we will check.”

They call me back. “She can’t walk. She’ll have to stay another day.”

I knew that she couldn’t walk before they called. She could barely walk before the surgery and after anesthesia, surgery and a night in the hospital, her walking was worse. She had been falling 1-5 times at home and the surgeon knew that. He did not take it into account. The staff would have delivered her to my car in a wheelchair and then it would have been my problem.

She was confused by that afternoon, which is not uncommon in older people after anesthesia. She stayed in the hospital for six days and then went to rehab, because she still couldn’t walk safely.

Recently I have a patient, an elder, that I send to the emergency room for possible admission. He is admitted and discharged after two and a half days. Unfortunately he can barely walk and his wife is sick as well. The medicare rules say that he needs 72 hours in the hospital before he qualifies for rehab. We scramble in clinic to get them Home Health services, with a nurse check and physical therapy and occupational therapy, and I ask for Meals on Wheels. It turns out that Meals on Wheels will be able to deliver in two months.

The wife refuses to go to the emergency room. I tell her that if she does get sicker, that they both need to check in. The husband can barely walk and is not safe home alone. If one gets hospitalized, they both need it.

If you have a frail elder, be careful when you are called about discharge. Go look at them yourself, make sure that you see that they can get out of bed, get to the bathroom, walk up and down the hall. Can they eat? Do you have steps into your house or theirs and can they go up the steps? I got away with saying please check that my friend could walk because I am a physician, because I knew she couldn’t and because there was no one else to pick her up. Do NOT ask your elder. They may want nothing more than to go home and they may well exaggerate what they can do or be firmly in denial. You want them to be safe at home, to not fall, to not break a hip and to not be bedridden.

For an already frail elder, even two and a half days in bed contributes to weakness. And being sick makes them weaker. If they are barely walking when they are admitted, it may be worse even after just 2-3 days. I used to write for physical therapy evaluation and exercise when elder patients were admitted, to help them for discharge. Once I got a polite query from physical therapy saying, “This patient is on a ventilator. Do you still want a consult?” I reply, “Yes, please do passive range of motion, thank you!”

Your elder does not have to be doing rumbustious dancing before they go home, but they need to be able to manage stairs, manage the bathroom, manage walking so that they can get stronger. Otherwise a stay in a nursing home or rehabilitation facility may be much safer for everyone.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: rumbustious.


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Love and grief

I got a letter from a family member, talking about happy memories of my father, mother and sister, who are all dead. How much fun they were and my mother’s influence taking them to museums, art museums and the Smithsonian.

It’s a bit difficult to answer, since my memories are much more complicated and tangled.

I wrote a poem called Butterfly Girl Comes to Visit a long time ago. It is about my sister. My mother could charm a room full of people and enthrall them with stories. Sometimes the stories were about me and my sister and actually making fun of our feelings: fear or grief. However, my mother was so good with an audience that I didn’t break the stories down until after she died. She was 61. That involved exploring a lot of really dark feelings. My sister and I even asked my father what our mother was really like: his reply was “Morose”.

I inherited my mother’s journals. My sister told me not to read them because they were “too depressing”. I don’t agree. They explain some things. My parents often fought, screaming at each other at 2 am while I was in high school. The family story was that my father was an alcoholic. As an adult, I wondered why she would fight with someone who was drunk. Her journal says “I drank too much last night,” over and over. Well, that would explain it, right? It takes two to tango. Or fight.

My sister could also charm a room. That is the sparkle in the Butterfly Girl poem. There was a period where she would tell me that I couldn’t talk about certain things, that she was fragile, that I was hurting her. This is after I gained control my feelings and had actual boundaries: I could refuse to fight with her. Before that, she could set me off like dry tinder. Her first husband called me once, saying, “I can’t not fight with her when she wants to fight. What do I do?” I replied, “I can’t either. I don’t know. I am so sorry!” I think it took until I was in my early 30s to refuse to fight with her and took a lot of conscious work. A fiance that broke up with me right after college told me I was an ogre when I was angry. I took that seriously and worked on it. My parents were not good role models for dealing with anger or grief or fear.

I am not much in contact with my maternal family. One person said that we could be in contact if we only said nice things about my mother, father and sister. I suggested we never mention them at all. We did not reach an agreement. I realize that our society wants to speak well of the dead, but to really be someone’s true friend, I think we have to accept that people may be angry at the dead as well. I gave this handout, Mourner’s Rights, to a patient on Friday. He is in the midst of grief and we talked about it. He thanked me and said, “I am grateful to talk to someone who knows about grief.”

My parents moved to Washington State in 1996. My mother was diagnosed with stage III ovarian cancer in 1997. I moved to be near them when her cancer recurred, arriving on Y2K. My mother died on May 15, 2000, four and a half months after we arrived.

My mother was only in that area of Washington for four years. She made such a charming impression that I had people tell me how wonderful and charming she was for a full decade. I was working though the complex feelings about her and tried very hard to thank people, even though I did not feel thankful.

I have not answered the letter yet. I want to return a gentle replay but I will not play the “only happy memories game”. I don’t mind my dark feelings. The family member would mind my dark feelings, I think. It is nice to be a physician and to be allowed to let patients talk about their dark feelings. Our culture wants to deny them, remove them, be positive. That is a disservice to love and to grief.

People are astoundingly complicated.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: astound.

The photograph is of my friend Maline, me, and two of her husband’s family members. Maline was one of my alternate mothers, a friend of my parents. She died within the last few years.

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Clinic comedy

Yesterday was my second day in the third clinic in this system and the day went a bit sideways. I am in seeing a person with their spouse. We are all masked because this is a sick visit. I try to wear a mask for all the visits but occasionally take it off if someone really can’t hear me. I go to wash my hands. The sink is small and turns on by a motion sensor. It is supposed to turn itself off. It goes on but then will not turn off and is loud. I send a quick message to the clinic director after flailing at it a bit. Why a message? The cabinet under the sink is locked, so I can’t turn the water off. With my patient slightly deaf and masks and loud water, I finish the visit trying to yell things. Ridiculous and embarrassing but funny. The patient and spouse are older and know that things break. They are not upset. The clinic director arrives, has her try at flailing at the sensor, unlocks the cabinet and turns the water off.

I shake hands with my patient and they and their spouse leave. We are in room three. I go in room 4 to wash my hands, since my patient was blowing their nose, and guess what? Yes, the water turns on and won’t turn off. I get the clinic manager. “I broke the second sink. How about I go home now?”

She laughs. “I will put in a ticket for maintenance.” She unlocks the room 4 sink and turns it off. Now we have two rooms out of commission!

I am covering for Dr. X. “See, this just shows that I wash my hands and Dr. X didn’t.” Not really. Dr. X has been out for a month already.

“Maybe it’s because they haven’t been used in a month,” says the medical assistant. We shut down those two rooms and I go into room 2 with some trepidation. The sink does not break.

Maintenance show up early afternoon and replaces the sink sensor batteries in room 3 and 4. They work just fine after that. It turns out that there are two other sinks not working, but there are patient visits going on, so maintenance will come back. The alcohol hand sanitizer makes my hands itch, so I prefer soap and water.

Isn’t technology great? Except when it breaks. I felt silly and helpless, since I was in a brand new place and the cabinets were locked!

I admonish all the doctors, do wash your hands! Even if the sink batteries need to be replaced more often.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: admonish.

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A weight loss drug complication

People are ordering versions related to semaglutide (ozempic) and dulaglutide (trulicity) from compounding pharmacies for various reasons. Their insurance may not cover the prescription or they may actually not qualify by their weight and complications. Here are the guidelines from the American Gastroenterological Association: https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2023/1000/practice-guidelines-medications-weight-loss.html. Those criteria: a body mass index (BMI) greater than 30 kg per m2 or BMI of 27 kg per m2 or greater with associated complications (e.g., hypertension, diabetes mellitus, and hyperlipidemia).

I have already had requests in clinic for a prescription sent to compounding pharmacy. I am refusing to send prescriptions out of state or to compounding pharmacies, because of the FDA warning. Here: https://www.fda.gov/drugs/postmarket-drug-safety-information-patients-and-providers/fdas-concerns-unapproved-glp-1-drugs-used-weight-loss. There are a bunch of issues: some compounding pharmacies are not using the FDA approved medicines, they are using something similar, but not the same. Also, the medicine does not come in the pen that injects a controlled amount. People have to draw the drug up and inject it. Some have injected ten times the amount that they should and have been hospitalized. It’s also worrisome that the compounding pharmacies, unlike state-licensed pharmacies, do not have to report complications.

A recent patient has deteriorating kidney function, with his creatinine jumping from 1.10 to 1.58. Creatinine is produced as a waste product by our cells and the kidneys need to clear it. His 1.10 was normal but the 1.58 is high, indicating the his kidneys aren’t clearing well, and that was only a six month interval. He is taking compounded semaglutide and compounded testosterone, with some online approval. That is, he did not get a prescription from our clinic. He started the semaglutide five months ago. The testosterone has been for years. “Stop the semaglutide and we will recheck your kidney function in a month.” His creatinine drops back to 1.10. Acute renal failure is listed as an uncommon side effect of the FDA approved semaglutide, but we don’t know if that is what he’s getting. I tell him the good news about his kidney function and say, “I think you should stay off the compounded drug.” I have not seen the same thing with the FDA approved semaglutide.

It’s complicated, isn’t it? We picked up the problem because he is on other medications and I do yearly labs on people who are on prescription medicines, to check whether their kidney or liver function is deteriorating. Almost all drugs, prescription or over the counter or supplements, are metabolized by either the liver or the kidneys. I only know of two that are not absorbed and not metabolized.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: pristine. I would like a pristine pill free body for as long as possible. Ok, I took one tylenol last week and I’d be dead three times over it wasn’t for penicillin.

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Why mean?

Why do people do that smiling mean thing? Where they are teasing too close to the bone, meanly, with a smile. If you object, then you are labeled as someone who can’t take a joke or who has no sense of humor. How do people handle them? I put them on avoid and do not want to be around them. But really, what motivates them? Power? Humiliate others to feel better about themselves? What a very sad and pathetic way to go through one’s life.

This is related to me thinking about what people think about. I think about what motivates people a lot and why they do what they do. This, apparently, is NOT what most people think about. My curiosity about people dates back to being a very small child and being passed from household to household because my mother had tuberculosis. I decided that adults did not understand children and that they loved me but didn’t understand that babies should be kept and loved. My sister was born when I was three and I told people that she was MY baby. I was determined to take care of her. Alcohol continued to make the adults in my household unpredictable and sometimes dangerous, at least emotionally.

My mother could charm a room and all visitors, but sometimes she would talk about them after they left. My family tended to ignore me if I was reading, because I really did not listen if I was deep in a book. Books were an escape and a safe place. People would have to call me three times to get me out of one. But sometimes my brain would click me out and I would listen to the conversation. My mother would talk about people’s motivations and was often quite negative and not nice. Interesting, but not nice.

When I realized that most people don’t think about others’ motivations most of the time, I felt rather freed and enlightened. I promptly ran into not one, but two mean people, at different sites. I do not understand meanness. I worry that it will be in the White House soon, as well. And what, that meanness wants to annex part or all of two other countries? Is this fascist envy? That’s what I think. So there.

The photograph is Sol Duc in 2022.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: mean.

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Thinking about this and that

I am thinking about thinking. What do people think about most of the time?

This partly comes from my ex. He thinks out loud a lot, an external processor. My daughter and I wanted to know what he thinks about. My son asked. “Dad, what do you think about?”

“Golf.”

“Golf?”

“Yes.”

“Anything else?” says my son.

“No.” says my ex.

I have no idea if this is true or not. Sounds hella boring to me, honestly, but he seems entirely happy with it. De gustibus non est desputandem.

I had lovely winter holidays, celebrating EVERYTHING. I went to my son and daughter-in-law’s out east. My daughter and her significant other came out and we did presents on December 27th. Then we went to see my two aunts and uncle for a couple days. They are in their 80s and delightful! Back to my son’s and we saw my kids’ remaining grandparent, my ex-husband’s father’s significant other. Got that? And one of my kids’ paternal cousins with her significant other. I stayed with old friends for the last three days, which was also delightful. We went to the Smithsonian American History Museum and read every single thing. But only in two exhibits because that place is huge.

Now I am back to my current home and hello, cat! Back at work as well. More about that next time. The sands are shifting and I may be in another clinic. Monday a patient asked if I am their new doctor or am I a floater? I said I prefer “Temp” to “Floater”. She laughed.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: think.