Category Archives: joy

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zoned

Blogging from A to Z, the letter Z.

Virtues and views and changes in the definition of feelings over time.

Yesterday we hiked from North Beach towards Cape George and walked 2/3 of the way. My phone welcomed me to Canada! We were not in Canada, but I think the Vancouver Island cell towers took over.

We were paralleled by a sailboat race. The very low tide was at 1:00 pm, so there were other hikers, picking up the beach glass. I found my first marble! There was a marble factory and you can still find the marbles, some perfect, on glass beach. I gave mine to my friend and then he found a cat’s eye and gave it to me.

The sailboats were going with the tide with the wind behind them and spinnakers up! Not in my photograph, at that point they were dipping south of Protection Island. We started back a little before 1:00 and watched the tide turn. The sailboats returned as well.

What does zoned mean to you? The sailboats were in the zone, with the wind behind and the tide helping. A long race and beautiful…..and this is my last letter for the A to Z.

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vulnerable

V is for vulnerable, in Virtues and views, Blogging from A to Z.

Is feeling vulnerable a virtue or a vice?

I don’t think feeling vulnerable is either a virtue or a vice. It’s a feeling. It is a feeling that our society puts pressure on adults, particularly males, not to feel. Or not to admit.

I read Robert Johnson, PhD, Owning our own shadow. He asks what three aspects of ourselves we are most proud of. For me, at that time, the triad was toughness, smarts and independent. He says that the opposite, or shadow, of that triad, is what we are most afraid of….

….oh, and he had me there. I look in my mirror and see someone smart, tough, independent, and terrified of being vulnerable.

I am much less terrified now. I am a physician: everyone is sick sometimes, vulnerable sometimes, everyone does dumb things sometimes, and dependence will come as well as death. I needed to bring that fear out of the shadow and make friends with it. Bringing those shadows forward is hard work! I don’t want to! But I can and I like to work and I am good at working. Small steps daily on a path with love and thought and care…..

Dictionary.com vulnerable

adjective

1. capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon:
a vulnerable part of the body.

2. open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.:
an argument vulnerable to refutation; He is vulnerable to bribery.

3. (of a place) open to assault; difficult to defend:
a vulnerable bridge.

4. Bridge. having won one of the games of a rubber.

So we ALL fall under the first definition! ALL OF US!

Our culture derides and conflates vulnerability with weakness sometimes. Don’t let it. Stand up. Speak out. Do not let fear stop us….

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nasty

For the Blogging from A to Z, my theme is Virtues and views: two lists of seven virtues, but my goal is to write about emotions. Could feeling nasty ever be a virtue?

Have you ever felt nasty? Have you called someone else a nasty person? Have you ever felt that you behaved in a nasty way? And what did you mean by nasty?

Again, here are definitions from Dictionary.com and from Webster 1913. The definition changes over time.

Webster 1913 from https://everything2.com/title/Nasty

Nas”ty (?), a. [Compar. Nastier (); superl. Nastiest.] [For older nasky; cf. dial. Sw. naskug, nasket.]

1. Offensively filthy; very dirty, foul, or defiled; disgusting; nauseous.

2. Hence, loosely: Offensive; disagreeable; unpropitious; wet; drizzling; as, a nasty rain, day, sky.

3. Characterized by obcenity; indecent; indelicate; gross; filthy.

Syn. — Nasty, Filthy, Foul, Dirty. Anything nasty is usually wet or damp as well as filthy or dirty, and disgusts by its stickness or odor; but filthy and foul imply that a thing is filled or covered with offensive matter, while dirty describes it as defiled or sullied with dirt of any kind; as, filthy clothing, foul vapors, etc.

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/nasty

adjective, nastier, nastiest.
1. physically filthy; disgustingly unclean:
a nasty pigsty of a room.
2. offensive to taste or smell; nauseating.
3. offensive; objectionable:
a nasty habit.
4. vicious, spiteful, or ugly:
a nasty dog; a nasty rumor.
5. bad or hard to deal with, encounter, undergo, etc.; dangerous; serious:
a nasty cut; a nasty accident.
6. very unpleasant or disagreeable:
nasty weather.
7. morally filthy; obscene; indecent:
a nasty word.

noun, plural nasties.
9. Informal. a nasty person or thing.

I took the photograph in the evening on the beach, with a gorgeous front and the mountains taking turns being lit by the evening. Is the rain nasty weather or is it the spring coming and bringing flowers? Do you celebrate “nasty” weather? Some days I do….

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modest and meek

Virtues and views: the virtue today is humility. I am using modest and meek, both synonyms, for humility. Humility is the virtue to oppose pride. I used hope for the letter h, so in this blogging from A to Z, I look for synonyms. Wordplay gives me joy.

Humility is not one of the four cardinal virtues valued by the Romans, nor one of the three theological virtues. Do you value being humble, being modest or meek? Most of the examples in our culture that I think of right now are people recommending that other people be modest or meek. Men ordering women to obey and Caucasians saying that other races should be patient, meek, quiet, wait….. And yet we are told to be proud of our country, of our flag, of being number one. I think we need to learn humility again…. and I am afraid that in our pride we will learn it the hard way.

In the last week three people in clinic gave me compliments. But two others were not satisfied, did not get what they wanted, and yelled at me. My head won’t swell with pride, because I hear both praise and criticism. All I can do is the best I can, no better….I don’t want to be the best doctor: I want excellence for all of our providers, doctors, nurse practitioners, physician assistants. Excellence in nurses, in hospital staff, in diabetic education, in cardiac and pulmonary rehab, in physical therapy, in hospital maintenance staff, in cleaning and housekeeping, in reception and scheduling. Excellence as a team. Let the whole world be the best and rise humbly to excellence….not one race or gender or religion….

And then I hope we see other worlds and beings and they do the same….

A meek and modest vision for humanity.

I took the photograph in 2014: sometimes the sky is neither meek nor modest, but glorious.

 

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innocent

For Blogging from A to Z, the letter I. My theme is Virtues and Views. I am writing about emotions for the second year in a row: last year I for introverted. This year I am think about innocence and feeling innocent.

How often do you feel innocent as an adult? And how often did you as a child?

My memory has painted this picture of my daughter as messier than the actual picture. I give her a chunk of banana for the first time and let her feed herself. She holds the banana and squeezes it through her fist and puts her fist to her mouth and waves her hands with joy! She is only a few months old and not sitting unsupported. The thumb and finger pincer grip develops at around 9 months. Before that, it is a sweeping fist that soon goes to the mouth. And the fists are not terribly well under control at first. But, she manages to get more than half the banana chunk into her mouth bit by sticky bit, and the rest all over her. She is tired in this picture and very satisfied. She isΒ  innocent of feeding herself and decorating herself with banana before this day.

After she fed herself she goes straight to the bath, a tired and happy baby.

 

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ease

Feeling ease. Is that a virtue or a vice? What makes you feel at ease or relax or stretch langourously? Boa cat is enjoying spring sun through the window and warm fur on warm velvet.

For the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, last year I chose envy. This year ease and rest and letting the muscles warm and stretch in the sun. I wish for some ease for all the children in the world, in frightening places or with frightening people, for some time of rest and warmth and safety and ease….

I am supposed to be at letter G today…. I will have to stop lying in the sun and get moving….it’s cloudy today anyhow.

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diligence

I am a day behind on the A to Z Challenge but that’s ok! I started a day late anyhow….D for diligence. One of the 7 virtues. This is from the 7 Heavenly Virtues, a different list from the cardinal and theological virtues. Bravery is not on the Heavenly list. Diligence is the match for the sin “sloth“. This virtue does not double as an emotion, just as chastity does not double as an emotion. I can feel diligent but it’s not like saying, “I am a sloth today! I feel totally lazy!”

The photograph is from 2011, my daughter and another member of the synchronized swimming team. My daughter started at age 7 and could barely swim one length of the pool, much less two. She fell in love with it and continued until the team disbanded, and then moved on to swim team. It is a spectacularly difficult sport, to dance upside down in the water. They score on the Olympic scale right from the start, earning scores of 1 or 2 out of 10.

Here they are leading a land drill, with younger team members in the water. This is at a meet, so they are ready with their suits and hair pieces for the team performance.

There are so many things that can be approached with diligence that lead to the joy of doing something well and with one’s entire heart…..

Β Musicians work with great diligence too….here.

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ardor

“the flowers that bloom in the spring, tra, la!”

I walk uptown today in the sun and the birds and I are out in the sun. It is warm and just amazing. There are flowers everywhere. Arriving home I change to bike gear and then it’s cloudy again. I change out and here is the sun. I will do the A to Z after all, because I am posting daily anyhow and the alphabet trickles round my thoughts. A, a day, a day late, arduous or ardor?

The birds and I are
slain by the sun: welcome
ardor spring flowers

My topic is Virtues and Views….there are Seven Virtues just as there are Seven Sins. Last year I wrote about a different feeling each day. Are the virtues feelings? And there is more than one list of virtues….