Matinenda doors

For Norm2.0’s Thursday doors, these are my family’s cabins in Ontario, on Lake Matinenda.

First, the log cabin. Built in the early 1940s. I wish I knew the names of the builders. My grandparents hired two men. They built a fireplace and chimney, too.


The Little Cabin is smaller and was built somewhere between 1936 and 1938 by my grandparents, with a smaller room and porch added later.



We sleep in tents, mostly.


And the boat house has doors too:


A lovely trip, with layers and layers of memory for me.

cabin door 2

For Norm2.0’s Thursday doors.

Another cabin door at Lake Matinenda. My aunt and uncle built this cabin, with help from family, including my parents. This is taken in 2006. We are gearing up to play pirates. My niece and I are wearing “pirate” makeup and my daughter has gone with “princess”. I put tiny braids in my hair and braided in fern bits, leaves, match sticks and other small things, like Captain Jack Sparrow. Then the pirates went to capture all the people!

cabin door

Another door, this taken by my daughter,  of me and a door. We stayed in a cousin’s cabin because our most functional and least ghost occupied cabin was set for a new roof. My cousin kindly let me use their cabin.

My parents helped my aunt and uncle build this cabin. My father talked about it. I have been going to the lake since I was a baby. Now I go about every other year: too far for yearly.

screen door

For Thursday doors. This is one of the cabins that my family owns at Lake Matinenda. I don’t think anyone has stayed in it since my sister died in 2012. That summer my daughter and I went and tried to clean some. There were too many things that were out where the mice could get them. We bought plastic containers and crated things up. We took all the beer bottles in the boat to the car and 17 miles to town to recycle them. We took loads of mouse nested clothes and shoes to the dump. We took a guitar that belonged to my sister home to my niece.

We were too raw to make decisions, to take the clothes and wash them and give them to a charity. It is time to do that.

A door into memory and how much my daughter helped, with no complaint.


Any day now

any day now

I will be going going to the lake to the rocks to the place I went to when I was five months and in the womb too

any day now

no electricity and the cell phones don’t work we filter the lake water now as the coliform count rises but still the water I taste it and memories rise like fish like turtles like lake trout from the depths my sister wants her ashes there but no worries there are bits of all our skin my uncles ashes were scattered there last time I went I burned a little of my hair my father’s hair my daughter’s hair my son’s hair so that our ashes would be there too

any day now

forwarded email as I’ve left the cousin email in protest of the emails about my father’s will circulating behind my back the propane delivery has closed down and we must go out of Blind River for propane the 100 pound tanks have to be carried upright which makes the rental car more of a challenge we used to get 60 pound tanks but they are harder to replace we are all always getting older

any day now

my cell used to work on one cabin porch when it was overcast but that was tmobile and I have another now so probably it won’t work and we are all still broken in the aftermath of my sister I will look in the cabin and donate all the shoes that none of us will every wear hers her daughter’s her husband’s that cabin is a castle a monument of dreams and I have not been there for three years and I hear the roof is going we don’t have enough money or cooperation I thought the Trust we fail at that by the way was 30 years but it is 40 and we are now half way and I am thinking about how to handle it

any day now

because I love this land this lake and I will not give it up oh Beloved help us heal