stone shaped heart
refuse to love me
refuse to let me in
I don’t try to change you
I am here to change me
not you
not to bury or change or rewrite my past
but to unearth past feelings
to examine them without prejudice or fear
to hold them with love and care
so that they don’t inform the present
so that my feelings are now and not mixed with past
I listen to what you say
I am here with you to learn
what are you saying to me?
you say you are always truthful
but you break laws
you smoke some stuff, legal now
you say you do not speed
sometimes you do not speed
sometimes you do
you say you never watch series
when I suggest a series
now you tell me you are watching a series
you say you never try to hurt me
mostly you never try to hurt me
except when you do
you say you never lie
you seem to believe what you say
I don’t
I try to pay attention to what I say
I try not to say never
I try not to lie to myself
I watch you and wonder
what lies do I tell over and over
to myself and others?
_______________________
Written 6/22/22