Category Archives: hope

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Incomparable courage

I’ve chosen incomparable for today’s Ragtag Daily Prompt. Yesterday I posted one version of the song Waterbound. Rhiannon Giddens does the traditional version, but then I come across this song. Wow. And yes, such courage in people enslaved and there is still slavery in the world.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: incomparable.

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Wild

I keep wondering at the stubborn part of me that will not let go.
 That wants to reconcile with all, no matter what they’ve done.
 I go inside, deep and deeper, in the depths all is slow.
 That part is the holy part that longs for the One.
 I have been told to let go of things, forget, no more longing.
 But the longing is a sacred place, a longing for the Beloved.
 I think that excising it would be a horrid evil wronging.
 Handle gently, with care, with love, and gently gloved.
 I meet someone who says, “You are very in touch with your inner child.”
 I know it’s not a compliment, I smile and pay little mind.
 My Child is my connection to the Beloved, fierce and mild.
 Jealous judging rolls right off, people can be unkind.
 I won’t excise the holy core, the Beloved inner child.
 I feel the Beloved’s laughing play and joy, heart running wild.

_________________

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: realize.

https://www.playingforchange.com/videos/words-of-wonder-get-up-stand-up-song-around-the-world

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Favorites

Let’s see: I am going with two favorite writers.

My favorite female author is Laura Ingalls Wilder. My favorite male author is Walt Kelly.

Louis Carreas wrote about how descriptions can be cages, here. WordPress won’t let me comment on his blog (Hi, Lou!), saying that I have to be logged in. Even when I AM logged in. Ah well, maybe the AI has a sense of humor and is messing with me. Anyhow, his comments make me think of the DSM V, the list of behavioral health symptoms defining them into disorders, fifth version. We humans make them up, these lists. My daughter pointed out years ago, “We make up all the words.” It’s all an effort to communicate and we make it all up.

Walt Kelly is my favorite master of playing with words and word silliness. One time Howland Owl and Churchy are trying to make a bomb. They need a certain material. They have a small yew tree and a geranium. They both fall over and CROSS! Owl and Churchy dive for the floor. There is no explosion. Howland Owl says, “The natural born reason we didn’t git no yew-ranium when we crosses the li’l yew tree and the gee-ranium is on account of cause we didn’t have no geiger counter.” They decide against an A-bomb and put a honey bee hive in a shoebox, making a quite effective B-bomb.

Laura Ingalls Wilder starts the book about her youngest years explaining that she tries to be good but she just can’t be as good as her sister Mary. There are ways they are supposed to behave and she fights with her sister and misbehaves on Sunday and runs around. They are also not supposed to talk about certain feelings, but the feelings show through the events. When I read the books to my son and daughter, I found myself a bit appalled and editing the bits about the blackface minstrel show that they do and about Laura’s Ma talking about “dirty Indians”. Mrs. Wilder edited her life quite severely for those books, but I too chafed under the cage of society’s rules and what feeling I was and was not allowed to express.

Now there are series based on Laura’s mother, grandmother and great grandmother. I like them though the feelings aren’t as authentic to me. Not quite. My daughter loved the books about Laura’s mother and I think is like her. My daughter objects to Anne’s behavior in the first book of the Anne of Green Gables series. “No one is like that!” she says. I mention a classmates name, who is very very extroverted. “Hmmm,” says my daughter, “Ok, she is like that.”

The photograph is from 1965. My maternal grandmother, me and my sister. I do not know who took it.

And a favorite carol:

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: favorite writer.

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Cagey

Traveling from Washington to Colorado, Elwha did not like the car and the unfamiliar places. I took the cat carrier apart in the hotel room and he decided that it was safer inside it than out, even if it was in pieces. Sol Duc did not enjoy the car but is less worried about it all.

And here is Sol Duc in a virtual cage, a shadow cage. She likes the back yard a lot. I have had the house closed up because of the smoke for the last two days, but there is less today.

Do you know the poem by Ogden Nash, The Tale of Custard the Dragon? The chorus is as follows:

Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears,
And Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs,
Mustard was as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard cried for a nice safe cage.

I love that poem! And I love the lines:

Meowch! cried Ink, and Ooh! cried Belinda,
For there was a pirate, climbing in the winda.

Ogden Nash was perfectly happy to bend words to fit the rhyming scheme and to heck with spelling!

The entire poem is here.

I still have not heard about Elwha. I hope that he has moved in with an older couple and spends most of his time on their laps. I can see him crying for a nice safe cage.

I thought there must be a song of it, but so far I like this tenth grade rap version best!

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: cage.

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Covid Morph

So far I have gotten positive Covid tests on one patient a week, all with really different symptoms.

One older person who was short of breath walking, tired, coughing and loose at the other end.

One young one whose only symptom was profuse throwing up.

One with a sore throat, nasal congestion, cough and feeling fairly awful and about to go on a trip, darn it.

There isn’t a nice pattern to tell me what the local strain is doing. It can do any darn old thing. I have also seen someone with strep throat and another couple who had similar symptoms to the others but did not have Covid. It’s morphing like an AI, I swear. I am masking in clinic but so far so good.

The Ragtag Daily Prompt is essential. I think it’s pretty essential for me to wear a mask in clinic, in crowds and on airplanes, since I am quite tired of pneumonias.

I have been the only “provider”, that is, doctor, in the clinic for the last two days. The medical assistants and front desk and I are starting to work as a team. I ask the front desk person how to communicate with her from the clinic room most efficiently. Something was weird about the refill system and it kept refusing refills. On Tuesday I had over 100 “documents” in the computer “box”. Lab work, specialist reports, refill requests, x-ray reports, nursing home things, surgery reports, wound clinic, emergency room, and so forth. I am trying to skim them, but I can’t say that I will remember person A’s dermatology report after skimming 60 others. If you go to your primary care provider and have had some major medical thing recently, remind them. They may have gotten and read the note, but gosh, it’s hard to remember at 100+ per day. Right now I have not met most of the people, so it is even harder.

The photograph is just for fun, taken a few weeks ago on the trail that runs by the Colorado River. Lovely!

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Lie low and flow

We have fight or flight for the sympathetic nervous system state, when we are ramped up, aggressive, go getters, all that stuff. We need a term for the parasympathetic nervous system state, the relaxed one. So far I’ve come up with lie low and flow. Other suggestions? I welcome them! We need more lie low and flow and glow and say no and ho, ho, ho in the world. What puts you in that state? Knitting? Stupid cat videos? Bugs Bunny? A bubblebath? Watching toddlers? What makes you laugh and yawn and relax and lets all the tension flow out and sink or float away?

In clinic I am seeing a wide age range. Most of the younger ones, say, under 60, look a bit shell shocked. I think this is still from the pandemic and wars and political nastiness. The over 60 crowd seems to not care as much. They’ve been through it, they know people die, they know bad stuff happens.

A friend and I were talking about pandemics and he pointed out that HIV and AIDS was a pandemic too. So we are on track for two pandemics per century. The younger folk do not remember the HIV and AIDS pandemic and how frightening it was. Right before that started, some doctors proclaimed that infectious disease had been conquered by medicine. Um, RONG RONG RONG! Boy did they eat THOSE words. And early in that pandemic, no one knew what to believe, what was happening, how to stay safe, and the communication from the medical establishment changed very fast. I wonder if the people who were young adults and older in the 1980s were less surprised by the Covid-19 Pandemic and all the rumors and confusion. Yep, seen it before.

I am not sure how to help the younger shell shocked looking folks. Colorado is a bit tough and manly and consequently there is not a huge amount of resources for emotional health. Yesterday I asked if we have anyone who does neuropsychiatric testing and the answer I got was “I don’t know.” I will dig around today but did not find it on the internet. I have found neuropsych testing hugely helpful for traumatic brain injuries, post brain surgery, and to sort out unusual learning and memory styles. One woman had a brain tumor removed. Her memory was affected. She could remember things that she wrote down and read, but not things that she only heard. No one had given her the report to read. They only told her, so she did not remember it. At least, that was the story. I gave her the report and said, “Read it. And tell your family. And if you are on the phone, take notes.”

Ok, now I should get ready for work, though I want to lie low and watch a silly cat video.

For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: yawn.