Category Archives: poetry

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Hard 

It's hard to let go of you
and stay present

I don't know why
The Beloved set me this task
I argue and struggle
a fly in Her web
But I hold still when She bites me
Paralyzed by love

You connect me to Beloved
that's what I want
Like a spring
Like a stream
Like a geyser
Like a tsunami
Like an ocean
I am lost in the depths

It's ok really
I am used to pain
I am used to the air hurting like knives
When I draw breath

Oh Beloved
The sky is crying hard with hail
while I write this

It's hard to let go of you
and stay present

Luckily I have so much to cry about
That you can't tell which tears
are about you
by

without reason

without reason

my cat worries
as I pack the bug out bags
to hide in the woods
if food stops arriving on trucks

she hates it when I pack
and the other pound kitten of nine years ago
was killed by a car two months ago
so she is lonely

I stop packing
I hold my cat
I say, “We will not go without you.”
I hold her
She relaxes
Believes me

I get the travel cage from the garage
wash it and get my pink silk scarf
it’s been in a bag and she has been hiding there
just her face in shadow when I walk by

I put the scarf in the travel cage
leave the door open
and feed her there intermittently
I will take her in the travel cage in the car
so that she is prepared

I’ll take the fish too
somehow

I plan to put plants outside
some may survive

some say animals and plants
have unstinting happiness
but not my cat

she worries that I will leave without her

and is reassured
when I say I won’t

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Evolution

I like this poem: http://seshatwuji.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/birth-of-the-global-brain/

I am posting a poem that I first posted on everything2 on June 6, 2014.

Evolution

The boys keep building machines
They get more and more complicated

The girls use the machines, some

The boys plug in
wire up
log on

The girls tweet
Sometimes they twerk

Some boys twerk too
And some girls log on

The boys write more languages
more programs
they translate from one to another
it all moves faster
They play games where they kill bosses
Online in groups
By the tens of thousands

It all looks a little insane

Don’t worry
Don’t fear

The boys keep building

In hopes that they will come

Some girls build
They hope they will come too

The girls are the Borg Queen
Some boys are too

“We will assimilate you,”
they say

The boys and girls say,

Yes

Please

Yes

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In preparation

I wrote this on 9/26/14 in the midst of much frustration and my lungs still hurting three and a half months after I got sick. I am off from taking care of patients, but still have to try to get my business covered and my patients taken care of. I think there is a component of my vocal cords not working because I am told that I am wrong and to shut up so often.

Favorite example is a Seattle Infectious Disease doctor that I called to ask for help with an infection in our town. He said, “You are a rural Family Practice Doctor. Why would I listen to you?”

I said, “I’m a girl too.” and hung up in frustration. That attitude will not win him any referrals from me. On my permanent stupid moron list, along with an amazing number of specialists. They are either respectful or they aren’t.

Currently I am on no alcohol at all, because I have to do a special diet before a 24 hour urine test. Means no caffeine either, ouch, headache.

In preparation

Today I will start drinking
now
even though it’s only 9:40
in the am

I will stretch two beers
through the long hours
as the alcohol
blocks the receptors
and numbs my aching heart
and lungs

and I will stay home alone
today
so that I won’t talk

time
to rest my voice

in preparation
for the next round
of talk

where I am told
in no uncertain terms
to sit down
and to shut up

by

sometimes the hummingbird

sometimes the hummingbird

Boa cat
meows
the meow that means she’s caught something
and wants to show me

and I go to look
it is a hummingbird
probably immature
dead

I pat her and praise her
Good Boa
I see what you caught

She taps the hummingbird
around the room a few times
but it is dead

so she eats it

and I’m crying

sometimes the hummingbird
gets eaten

and that is ok