S is for Shadow in the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.

I wrote this poem in April of 2014 after hearing a sermon based on the bible passage that if you cast one devil out, it will return with 7 more.

Mathew 12:45 “Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first.”

My minister was talking about how feeling virtuous can make us behave worse than ever, and that we don’t acknowledge our own bad thoughts even to ourselves. I thought about how hard it must be to be an unloved shadow or feeling who is cast out or denied.

Shadows

I.

I am happy today
Because I let the shadows alone

I see them
I did not name them

They aren’t mine
Unless I name them
Then I add to them
They stick to me
Their owners disavow them
Their owners recoil in horror
from me, a huge talking shadow

Their owners disavow them

Poor shadows
They are so lonely

But it doesn’t serve if I name them
Their owners think they are mine
Their owners think they are gone
Relief
Freedom
Evil named and cast out

Once I am alone, the shadows roil
They cry for home
They cry for their people
They are fearful
They gather into gangs
To face the terrible journey home
To their owners

When the shadow is offered
I don’t reject it
I don’t name it
I wait

It is in the room
Manifest
Between us

And mostly the owner
Speaks of something
Else

And the shadow sinks
Waits
Bides

I hear the shadows weeping
To be loved

II.

I hear the shadows weeping
To be loved

I thought if I named the shadows
They would be visible
Freed
Loved

I was wrong

I am so sorry, shadows
I am so sorry, owners

I was wrong

I send you all my love
and tears

I hear the shadows weeping
to be loved.

4/5/2014