Death from memory loss is a mixed bag for families.
In the past, the average time to death from Alzheimer’s was 8 years. I don’t find a number on the CDC website, CDC Alzheimer’s. I find these statistics:
- Alzheimer’s disease is one of the top 10 leading causes of death in the United States.2
- The 6th leading cause of death among US adults.
- The 5th leading cause of death among adults aged 65 years or older.3
The site also says that the number of people with Alzheimer’s doubles every five years after age 65. Sigh. Those numbers are the same ones that they taught me years ago, in a different format. 6% at age 60, then 2% more every year. By 70, 26%, by 80, 46%, by 90 66%. Like hypertension, if you live long enough, you may well get it. And yet, I have had patients over 100 years old with intact memories.
The death of a family member with memory loss can have complicated grief. On the one hand, loss and grief. On the other, a burden is lifted. If the person is in memory care, the cost may be very heavy. In our town, the memory care facility costs $7000 per month. That is a heavy burden to carry when the person no longer recognizes the family or speaks. The family may feel hugely relieved when their person passes and at the same time, feel guilty. This is someone that they love and loved. And yet, they are relieved by death. I think of it as a patient of mine described it: “The grief group at the hospital said that my husband isn’t gone. I said, yes he is, he just left his body.” It is very very hard for a family to watch their loved one deteriorate, lose skills, become confused and/or frightened and/or paranoid and the process can happen for years. With an average death at 8 years, some people live beyond 8. Maybe 12 years. It is very hard.
Blessings on those who care for the memory loss people and the families who do their best for them. Alzheimer’s is one sort of dementia, but we now have many. Pick’s disease, frontotemporal dementia, Parkinson’s dementia, multi stroke dementia, alcohol induced dementia, illegal drug dementia, primary progressive supranuclear palsy, and others.
The spirit has already taken wing and let the body follow.
For the Ragtag Daily Prompt: wing.
My son took the photograph while he was visiting.
Here is the top ten causes of death in 2022: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db492.pdf.
KO Rural Mad As Hell Blog 
For my father it was about 8 years from when we noticed the changes. A few years less from when a doctor was willing to confirm it. The autopsy left no doubt, if there had been any. Five of us kids have now passed that age.
For those who fear their memory lapses, I was once taught, “If you forget where you put your keys, that’s normal aging. If you find your keys but forget what they’re for, that’s dementia.”
I am sorry about your father.