Lose the chest strap

After my fourth pneumonia, I couldn’t stand the chest strap any more. Chest strap? say the guys. “What chest strap?” Dudes, bra, brassiere, whatever you want to call it.

It made my lungs hurt. My lungs already hurt. I thought, ok. I am 60 years old. I am “small” and don’t need any “support” unless I go running or something that really makes breasts jiggle. Don’t need a bra for dancing. And anyone who stares at my tits, well, gosh, thought you guys didn’t like “old” ladies. I don’t care.

Let’s think about that chest strap though. Guys, have you ever tried a bra on? What exactly is a bra for? Well, running or soccer or pole vault or football or all sorts of other heavy athletics, yeah, it can be really uncomfortable. Strap those babies down. But the day to day bra is to enhance support, stop jiggle and hide nipple action.

Uh, and meanwhile guys can take off their shirts in public. I think this is unfair. They have nipples too and breast tissue, just less.

Also, what is wrong with jiggle? The breast tissue drains in multiple directions, through lymphatics. I think some breast jiggle may be important to that drainage. Jiggle means slut to guys? Well, go suck a lemon, guys. And if you really stare at my breasts when I am talking to you, I might not sock your eye, but I sure as hell will lose all respect for you. All. And why are nipples evil in women but not in men? Because they are functional in women and men are jealous? Tit envy.

Now support. Yes, there are women who are so well endowed that they have back pain and may choose a breast reduction. This is covered by insurance if the clinician documents that pain over time. And breasts do change with time and age. But when is our culture going to accept and even celebrate aging! We do congratulate people turning 80 or 90 or 100, but otherwise older women are often ignored. I am delighted by the older actresses and musicians who are now finding parts and are still out there and dancing. Go Tina Turner, the legs go last!

I also think the chest strap is not nice for the lungs. Certainly not after four rounds of pneumonia, but bras have to be tight enough that they do have an effect on a deep breath. I’ve retired my bras. Ok, if I am in a Madonna mood and want to wear a lace see through white shirt, then I might pull out the scarlet one for the evening, but otherwise, no way. How good are bras for people with asthma, with emphysema, with post covid?

Lose that chest strap, ladies, and take a deep breath. Breathe free.

9 thoughts on “Lose the chest strap

  1. When you’ve had a single mastectomy, a bra is the only way to feel whole. So I agree with all you have said but, like Paula, I agree choice is the key.

    • drkottaway says:

      My sister knit “tit bits” for people with mastectomies and was furious at Macy’s for not having a mastectomy bra. I agree!

  2. Lou Carreras says:

    Obviously I don’t wear one, but my wife and daughters tell me that most bras are never fitted correctly, and are poorly designed.

  3. Paula Light says:

    Unless it’s really hot, I am actually more comfortable in a bra and even sleep in one! I know, I’m weird. But it should definitely be our CHOICE!

  4. I hate those things. I wear one when I go out “in public” like to read something at the museum or something. I’m NOT small, either. When I retired I thought, “This is over.” I bought some sports bras thinking they’d be a good compromise, but they aren’t.

    • drkottaway says:

      Sports bras are hella uncomfortable long term. I wear tank tops as a concession but not the nasty ones with the “shelf bra” inside. I read some history and corsets were worse!

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